The defendant descended as per schedule, and approached the waiting attorney. When he reached him the spectators were astonished to see him slap the lawyer in the face, kick him in the shins, seize him bodily, and, finally, with a supreme effort, lift him from the floor and hurl him prostrate across a table.
Turning from the bewildered prosecutor, he faced the court and explained mildly:
"Your honor and gentlemen, about one-tenth that hard!"
An aged negro was crossing-tender at a spot where an express train made quick work of a buggy and its occupants. Naturally he was the chief witness, and the entire case hinged upon the energy with which he had displayed his warning signal.
A gruelling cross-examination left Rastus unshaken in this story: The night was dark, and he had waved his lantern frantically, but the driver of the carriage paid no attention to it.
Later, the division superintendent called the flagman to his office to compliment him on the steadfastness with which he stuck to his story.
"You did wonderfully, Rastus," he said. "I was afraid at first you might waver in your testimony."
"Nossir, nossir," Rastus exclaimed, "but I done feared ev'ry minute that 'ere durn lawyer was gwine ter ask me if mah lantern was lit."—Puck.