A young New Haven man, returning home from a health trip to Colorado, told his father about buying a silver mine for $3,000. "I knew they'd rope you in!" exclaimed the old man. "So you were ass enough to buy a humbug mine."
"Yes, but I didn't lose anything. I formed a company, and sold half the stock to a Connecticut man for $7,000."
"Y-you did," gasped the old man as he turned white, "I'll bet I'm the one who bought it."
"I know you are," coolly observed the young man as he crossed his legs and tried to appear very much at home.
FISH
The teacher asked, "Who can tell me what an oyster is?"
A small hand, gesticulating violently, shot up into the air, and a shrill voice called out. "I know; I can tell, teacher!"
"Well, Bobby," said the teacher, "you may tell us what an oyster is."
"An oyster," triumphantly answered Bobby, "is a fish built like a nut!"