FOOD
DINER—"See here, where are those oysters I ordered on the half shell?"
WAITER—"Don't get impatient, sah. We're dreffle short on shells; but you're next, sah."
During a particularly nasty dust-storm at one of the camps a recruit ventured to seek shelter in the sacred precincts of the cook's domain.
After a time he broke an awkward silence by saying to the cook:
"If you'd put the lid on that camp-kettle you would not get so much of the dust in your soup."
The irate cook glared at the intruder, and then broke out: "See here, me lad. Your business is to serve your country."
"Yes," interrupted the recruit, "but not to eat it."