"Mamma," said the Young Thing, "I want you to stop forcing me into Mr. Gottit's company all the time. People are talking."
"But, my dear," protested the Solicitous Lady, "he is a wonderful catch!"
"He may be, Mamma, but if you keep on thinking you are pitcher, he'll get onto your curves and throw the game."
EDITH—"I think Jack is horrid. I asked him if he had to choose between me and a million which he would take, and he said the million."
MARIE—"That's all right. He knew if he had the million you'd be easy,"
FOUNTAIN PENS
"Why do they call 'em fountain pens? I should say reservoir pen would be the better name. A reservoir contains liquids; a fountain throws 'em around."