HURRY—"What's happened to Speeder. I haven't seen him for weeks?"
CANE—"Oh, he tried all the different makes of cars and then bought an aeroplane."
HURRY—"Has he crashed?"
CANE—"Well, not exactly. He started on a cross-country flight the other day, heard something rattle and absent-mindedly climbed out to look under the machine."
"For ten years," said the new boarder, "my habits were as regular as clockwork. I rose on the stroke of six, and half an hour later was at breakfast; at seven I was at work; dined at one; had supper at six, and was in bed at nine thirty. Ate only plain food, and hadn't a day's illness all the time."
"Dear me!" said a hearer, in sympathetic tones; "and what were you in for?"
DOCTOR—"I have to report, sir, that you are the father of triplets."