"Young man," said Manager Woods sternly, "you should know that it is against the rules of this hotel for an employee to whistle while on duty."
"I am not whistling, sir," replied the boy, "I'm paging Mrs. Jones' dog."
A tall, gaunt-looking person recently entered a hotel in a town where several fires had occurred and applied for a room at a price which entitled him to lodging on the top floor of the house. Among his belongings the proprietor noticed a coil of rope, and asked what it was for.
"That's a fire escape," said the man, "I carry one with me so I can let myself down from the window without troubling anyone."
"Good plan," said the landlord, "but guests with fire escapes like that pay in advance at this hotel."
DEPARTING GUEST—"Enjoyed ourselves? Oh yes! What I'm upset about is leaving your hotel so soon after I've bought it."
A commercial traveler, on leaving a certain hotel, said to the proprietor: "Pardon me, but with what material do you stuff the beds in your establishment?"