"Pop, what do we mean by a good listener?"
"A good listener, my son, is a man to whom it is possible to tell a funny story without reminding him of one of his own."
JUDGE—"You are charged with profanity."
PRISONER—"How can that be, your honor, when I was arrested for getting rid of it?"
JUDGE—"Ten days for swearing. Thirty days for that joke."
POST—"Scribbler says if you can judge of the future by the past, his work will live for thousands of years."
PARKER—"Let's see. Just what does Scribbler write?"