"What you pay a lawyer before he does any work for you, my son."
"Oh, I see. It's like the quarter you put in the gas-meter before you get any gas."
After a young lawyer had talked nearly five hours to a jury, who felt like lynching him, his opponent, a grizzled old veteran, arose, looked sweetly at the judge, and said:
"Your honor, I will follow the example of my young friend who has just finished, and submit the case without argument."—Life.
A Chicago business man, with many relatives, some of whom were well-to-do but grasping, recently sought the services of his lawyer to draw up his will. When, after much labor, the document was completed, the client asked:
"Have you fixed this thing, as I wished it, tight and strong?"
"I have done my best," said the lawyer.
"Well," continued the client, "I want to ask you another thing—not professionally, however. As a friend, and man to man, who do you think stands the best chance of getting the property when I am gone?"