DAUGHTER—"Oh, father, how grand it is to be alive! The world is too good for anything. Why isn't every one happy?"

FATHER—"Who is he this time?"


EDITH—"How does Fred make love?"

MARIE—"Well, I should define it as unskilled labor."


MAG.—"Wot is 'platonic affection,' Liz? Is it love?"

LIZ.—"Well, no;—it ain't true love! Dere ain't no quarreling in it, ner no fighting, ner worrying, ner hocking, ner drinking, ner getting arrested fer non-support, ner nuthin' wot's really passionate!"