The trouble with most marriages is that a man always makes the mistake of marrying the woman who carries him off his feet—instead of trying to find one who will keep him on them.
CONDUCTOR (to passenger of Pullman)—"Excuse me, sir. Is this lady your wife?"
PASSENGER—"I don't know. It depends upon what State we are passing through."—Life.
"I'm thinking of getting married, pa. What's it like?"
"You had a job as janitor once, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"And you had a position as watchman once, didn't you?"
"And you worked a while as a caretaker, didn't you?"