CAPTAIN—"Stick around; you'll get plenty of orders here."
MILK
"You are charged with selling adulterated milk," said the judge.
"Your Honor, I plead not guilty."
"But the testimony shows that it is 25 per cent water."
"Then it must be high-grade milk," returned the plaintiff. "If your Honor will look up the word 'milk' in your dictionary you will find that it contains from 80 to 90 per cent water. I should have sold it for cream!"
The morning milk delivered at the parsonage was certainly weak, and the head of the household considered it necessary to remonstrate. "Are you aware," he remarked to the milkman, "that we require this milk for the hitherto recognized purposes?"
"I hope so, sir," replied the tradesman.