A chauffeur had applied for a position with a new-rich family which aspired to be considered "top-notch" socially, and was being interviewed by the mistress of the house.
"We call all our servants by their last names," she announced. "What is your last name?"
"You had best call me Thomas, ma'am," replied the applicant.
"No, we insist that you be willing to be called by your last name. Otherwise you won't do at all."
"Oh, I'm willing, ma'am, but I don't think the family would like to use it."
"What is your last name then?" said his prospective employer, somewhat coldly and as though she expected a revelation of international scandal.
"Darling, ma'am—Thomas Darling."
A little colored girl, a newcomer in Sunday-school, gave her name to the teacher as "Fertilizer Johnson." Later the teacher asked the child's mother if that was right.