"'Yes, exactly,' said he. 'It was soothing because over half the congregation went to sleep. It was moving because half of the other half left before I was through. And it must have been satisfactory, inasmuch as I wasn't asked to come again.'"
The minister had just preached his farewell sermon to the congregation with whom he had had much trouble.
"How beautiful!" said a visitor to one of the deacons, "and how appropriate for a farewell sermon!"
"Think so?" said the deacon gruffly.
"Why, yes. What better text could he find than 'In My Father's house are many mansions.... I go to prepare a place for you.' By the way, where is he going?"
The deacon smiled sourly as he answered: "He becomes chaplain of the State penitentiary."
While a certain Scottish minister was conducting religious services in an asylum for the insane, one of the inmates cried out wildly:
"I say, have we got to listen to this?"