Boatman. "Oh, dear, no, mum. I always wears a life-belt, so I'm safe enough."
STANCH!
Complaisant Uncle (who has remembered his nephew in his will, and is up to his ankles in water). "I say, John, do you know your boat leaks?"
Nephew (high and dry on the thwarts). "Like old boots!"
Uncle. "But I—— What's to be done?"
Nephew. "Wait till she fills, and then put on a spurt for the shore!!"