Mistress. "So you want me to read this love-letter to you?"
Maid. "If ye plaze, mam. And I've brought ye some cotton-wool ye can stuff in yer ears while ye rade it!"
Her Ladyship (who has been away from home for Christmas). "Well, Blundell, I hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas dinner?" Blundell. "Yes, thank you, my lady. Ahem! I—er—took the liberty of obtaining—in the absence of your ladyship—the biggest goose procurable!"
Brass.—Sympathetic Old Lady. "Oh dear, dear! I do so feel, Mabel, for that poor man with the long trumpet."—(She must mean the trombone in this street band.)—"All through the piece, dear, he's been trying to fix it right, and he can't do it, poor fellow!!"