English Tourist (in the far North, miles from anywhere). "Do you mean to say that you and your family live here all the winter? Why, what do you do when any of you are ill? You can never get a doctor!"
Scotch Shepherd. "Nae, sir. We've just to dee a natural death!"
SCENE--A ROADSIDE INN IN A MOORLAND DISTRICT, SCOTLAND.
(The Captain and Gamekeeper call in to have some Refreshment)
Landlady (enters in fear). "Eh, sir, yer gun's no loaded is't? for a never would bide in a hoose whaur the wur a loaded gun in a' m'life."
Captain (composedly), "Oh we'll soon put that right--have you got a cork?"