Pleasuring!—Vicar (to old lady, who is returning from a funeral). "Well, Martha, I'm afraid you've had a sad afternoon. It has been a long walk, too, for you——" Martha. "Sure-ly, 'tis sir; Ah, sir, 'tain't much pleasure now for me to go to funerals; I be too old and full o' rheumatiz. It was very different when we was young—that 'twer!!"
Sexton (to a divine, who was spending his holidays in the country and who, on the sudden illness of the village parson, volunteered to take the duties). "A worse preacher would have done for us, sir, but we couldn't get one!"
Predestined!—Northern Matron (before the School Board). "I'm not against eddication, ladies and gen'l'men. I al'ays make him take his book o' nights. But reelly I calls it a flyin' in the face o' providence to be keepin' a boy out o' the stables with such a pair o' legs as his'n!!"