He eyed my cross-eyed caddie with a supercilious smirk,
I tried to set my features, and my nerves, like any flint;
But my "knicker'd" knees were knocking as I wildly set to work.
Oh! never have a caddie with a squint!
I tried to look away from the spoiler of my play,
But for fiendish fascination he was like a squinting snake;
All the muffings man can muff I contrived to muff that day;
My eyes were all askew and my nerves were all ashake.
I seemed to squint myself, and not only with my eyes,