Encouragement.—Professional Golfer (in answer to anxious question). "Weel, no, sir, at your time o' life, ye can never hope to become a player; but if ye practise hard for three years, ye may be able to tell good play from bad when ye see it!"
Bertie (to caddie, searching for lost ball). "What are you looking there for? Why, I must have driven it fifty yards further!"
Diplomatic Caddie. "But sometimes they hit a stone, sir, and bounce back a terrible distance!"
Old Hand. "Ah, I heard you'd joined. Been round the links yet?"