Policeman. "Bread and water; same as you had afore!"
A Misunderstanding.
Old Gent. (evidently from the Shires). "Hi! hoy! stop!"
Conductor. "'Old 'ard Bill!" (To Old Gent.) "Where are yer for, sir?"
Old Gent. (panting in pursuit). "Here!—let's have a—box o' them—safety matches!"