Guard (with unconcern). "Waiting for the train to go on, sir!"

[Old Gent retires.


AN UNDERGROUND SELL

First Passenger. "They say they've put on detectives 'ere, to catch coves as travels without tickets."

Second Passenger. "'Ave they? Well, all I can say is, I can travel as often as I like from Cannon Street to Victoria, and not pay a 'apenny!"

Detective. "See here, mate; I'll give you half-a-crown if you tell me how you do it."

Second Passenger (after pocketing the half-crown). "Well,—when I wants to git from Cannon Street to Victoria without payin'—I walks!"