Guard (to excited passenger at the Edinburgh Station, just as the train is starting). “Ye’re too late, sir. Ye canna enter.”

Stalwart Aberdonian. “I maun!”

Guard (holding him back). “Ye canna.”

Aberdonian. “Tell ye I maun—I weel!” (Gripping Guard.) “If I maunna, ye sanna!!!”

HOMAGE TO THE SCOTS RIFLES

BY A SPITEFUL COMPETITOR

It seems that the Scots

Turn out much better shots