“PHYSICAL GEOGRAPHY”
English Angler (on this side of the Tweed). “Hi, Donald! come over and help me to land him—a 20-pounder I’ll swear——”
Highlander (on the other). “It wull tak’ ye a lang time to lan’ that fush too, d’ye ken, sir, whatever!—Ye hae heuket the kingdom o’ auld Scotland!”
Northern Gamekeeper. “Will ye gie me some oil to my guns this morning, cook?”
Cook. “If ye wunt oil frae me, ‘keeper,’ ye’ll need to mind. Ma name’s no cook—ma name’s Misthress Macphairson!”
Gamekeeper (with a sniff). “Weel, gin ye’re no to be ‘cook,’ I’m nae to be ‘keeper’! Ye’ll be as gude as gie me ‘Maisther Forr-biss’!!”