Scots Judge (with a very marked pug-nose). “Weel, noo, sir, if ye gae along the ro’d in question, where’ll ye gang tae?”
Scots Witness (deliberately). “That a’ depends, yer honour, on how far ye gae!”
Judge (snappishly). “Ye understan’ vera weel, sir. If ye follow yer nose, mun, where’ll ye gang till?”
Witness (after a pause). “Ah’ve always heer-ed it said, yer honour, that if ye follow yer nose too far, it’ll tak’ ye t’ the moon!”
Judge. “Step doon, sir!”—(In an angry aside).—“The mon’s a fool!”
Traveller (to Colonial Squatter). “Hullo, McDonald! I didn’t expect this of you! All your men working on a Sunday!”
Mac. “This is nae Sunday, mun!—it’s Wednesday——”
Traveller. “Not a bit of it! This is Sunday, I assure you——”