You're a 'spec'ble kind o' felner;

I'm a felner to be pitied;

I'm a mis'ble felner! Hic.

"Can you feel for one in sorrow?

I shall make my will to-morrow;

I shall leave you all my money,

Every single thing that's mine.

Watch—repeater; ring—carbuncle;

Kellner you're my long-lost uncle.

Just discovered this—how funny!