“In Republican Jersey,
There nunquam was seen
Puella pulchrior,
Ac Lydia Green;
Fascinans quam bellis
Vel lilium, et id.,
Et Jacobus Brown
Was ‘ladles’[7] on Lyd.
Ad Jacobum Brown
Semel Lydia, loquitur:
‘Si fidem violaris,
I’d lay down and die, sir.’
‘Si my Lydia dear
I should ever forget’—
Tum respondit: ‘I hope
To be roasted and ate.’
Sed, though Jacob had sworn
Pro aris et focis,
He went off and left Lydia
Deserta, lachrymosis.
In lachrymis solvis
She sobbed and she sighed;
And at last, corde fracta,
Turned over and died.
Tunc Jacobus Brown,
Se expedire pains
That gnawed his chords cordis,
Went out on the plains,
And quum he got there.
Ὄι Βάρβαροι met him,
Accenderunt ignem
Et roasted et ate him.”
—J. A. M.

Am Rhein.

“Oh the Rhine, the Rhine, the Rhine—
Comme c’est beau! wie schön, che bello!
He who quaffs thy Lust and Wein,
Morbleu! is a lucky fellow.
How I love thy rushing streams,
Groves and ash and birch and hazel,
From Schaffhausen’s rainbow beams
Jusqu’à l’echo d’Oberwesel!
Oh, que j’aime thy Brüchen, when
The crammed Dampfschiff gaily passes!
Love the bronzed pipes of thy men,
And the bronzed cheeks of thy lasses!
Oh! que j’aime the ‘oui,’ the ‘bah!’
From the motley crowd that flow,
With the universal ‘ja,’
And the Allgemeine ‘so!’”

“Serve-um-Right.”

“‘Eh! dancez-vous?’ dixit Mein Herr.
‘Oui, oui!’ the charming maid replied:
Vidit ille at once the snare,
Looked downas quick, et etiam sighed.
Das Mädchen knew each bona art
Stat ludicrans superba sweet;
Simplex homo perdit his heart
Declares eros ad ejus feet.
‘Mein Liebchen,’ here exclaims de Herr,
‘Lux of mein life, ein rayum shed,
Dein oscula let amor share,
Si non, alas! meum be dead.’
Ludit das girlus gaily then,
Cum scorna much upon her lip:
Quid stultuses sunt all you men,
Funus to give you omnes slip.
Mein Herr uprose cum dignas now,
Et melius et wiser man,
Der nubis paina on his brow,
To his dark domus cito ran.
Nunc omnes you qui eager hear
Meas tell of cette falsa maid,
Of fascinatus girl beware
Lest votre folly sic be paid.”

To a Friend at Parting.

“I often wished I had a friend,
Dem ich mich anvertraun Könnt,
A friend in whom I could confide,
Der mit mir theilte Freud und Leid;
Had I the riches of Girard—
Ich theilte mit ihm Haus und Heerd:
For what is gold? ’Tis but a passing metal,
Der Henker hol’ für mich den ganzen Bettel.
Could I purchase the world to live in it alone,
Ich gäb’, däfur nich eine noble Bohn’;
I thought one time in you I’d find that friend,
Und glaubte schon mein Sehnen hät ein End;
Alas! your friendship lasted but in sight,
Doch meine grenzet an die Ewigkeit.”

Ad Professorem Linguæ Germanicæ.

“Oh why now sprechen Sie Deutsch?
What pleasure say can Sie haben?
You cannot imagine how much
You bother unfortunate Knaben.
Liebster Freund! give bessere work,
Nicht so hard, ein kurtzerer lesson,
Oh then we will nicht try to shirk
Und unser will geben Sie blessin’.
Oh, ask us nicht now to decline
‘Meines Bruders grössere Häuser;’
‘Die Fasser’ of ‘alt rother Wein’
Can give us no possible joy, sir.
Der Müller may tragen ein Rock
Eat schwartz Brod und dem Käsè,
Die Gans may be hängen on hoch,
But what can it matter to me, sir?
Return zu Ihr own native tongue,
Leave Dutch und Sauer Kraut to the Dutchmen;
And seek not to teach to the young
The Sprache belonging to such men.

Und now ’tis my solemn belief
That if you nicht grant this petition,
Sie must schreiben mein Vater ein Brief,
To say that ich hab’ ein Condition.’”
—Yale Courant.

Pome of a Possum.