Oh that the fools would open their mouth to receive the spring-rain of my clouds! My perfume would I drop on them, my saffron and my cinnamon. Woe unto knowledge, woe to me! In the midst of such a people do I dwell! They count the knowledge of God as witchcraft and as sorcery.
I therefore lament and wail, I lie all night in sackcloth. I am bowed down as a bulrush, and fast on the second and fifth days of every week. What shall I hope for, while I live? in what then shall I put my faith? Mine eye roams about in this world, but it beholds not what I desire. Oh death is precious in my sight, because I disdain this earth. If my heart turns to her ways, may my tongue cleave to my palate! My soul rejects her glory, for her honor is disgrace in mine eyes. I never shall rejoice in her, my pride shall not exult in her, even if the constellations would call to me: ‘Turn in, and sit with us, O lord.’ For this earth has become to me as a yoke upon my neck. What else is left me in this world, except to endure my blindness?
My soul complains aloud, for it found not as yet my abode. I am weary of my life, and loathe that my flesh should lord over me. For its rejoicing is my grief; and when it sorrows, I rejoice. I seek to know, and I shall find true knowledge when my flesh and vigor are gone. For after grief comes relief, after leanness comes my nourishment.
All my life I shall search and seek the commands of Solomon my ancestor. Perchance He who lays bare deep things will reveal wisdom to mine eye; for this alone is my portion from all my labor and wealth.
2. A Vow to Seek Wisdom[[92]]
A soul whose raging tempests wildly rise, whither shall she send her meditations? She rages, and is like a flame of fire, whose smoke constantly ascends. This time her meditations are like a wheel that turns around on the earth and the multitudes thereof, or like the seas wherein the earth’s foundations were fastened: ‘How canst thou be so strong and filled with courage, that thou disdainest a place upon the stars? From the path of wisdom turn thou away thy heart; the world shall then smooth thy path for thee.’
Oh comfort ye my soul for that, my friends, and likewise for her sorrows comfort her; she thirsts for a man of prudence, but finds not a man to slake her thirst. Seek ye amongst the men of fame, perchance there may be one to grant her desires. If this world sins against me, my heart will regard it disdainfully. If it cannot see my light with its eye, let the world then be contented with its blindness. But afterwards, if it appeases me, I shall turn round, and forgive its sins. The earthly sphere would then be good; the hand of Time would place no yoke upon the wise.
Oh too much wrong didst thou commit; long have the gourds been as cedars of the earth. Despise the vile ones of the people, for stones are less burdensome to me than they. Cut off the tail of them that say to me: ‘Where is then wisdom and her votaries?’ Oh that the world would judge them aright! oh that it would give food unto her sons! They would then rest, not toil, and would attain their goal, without knowing worldly joys. Some took the sun’s daughters, and begot folly, but they were not its sons-in-law.[[93]]
Why do ye chide me for my understanding, O ye thorns and briers of the earth? If wisdom is of light esteem to you, vile and despised are ye in her sight. Though she is closed, and reaches not your heart, lo, I shall open her chests. How shall I now abandon wisdom, since God’s spirit made a covenant between us? or how shall she forsake me, since she is like a mother to me and I am the child of her old age? or like an ornament which adorns the soul, or like a necklace on her neck. How can ye say to me: ‘Take off thy ornaments, and remove the precious chain from her neck’? In her my heart rejoices, and is glad, because her rivers of delights are pure. Throughout my life I shall make my soul ascend until her abode is beyond the clouds. For she adjured me not to rest, until I find the knowledge of her Master.