WALKER BLAINE'S ADVICE
In the days of the old University Club at Washington, there was a certain objectionable person who had succeeded in gaining admission to the club, in spite of its exclusiveness. One day this vulgarian became extremely noisy in the card-room; so much so that a certain indignant member of the club blurted out:
"See here! If you'll resign from this organization I'll give you five hundred dollars."
The objectionable person left the room in high dudgeon. Chancing to meet on the stairway Walker Blaine, the son of the then Secretary of State, the aggrieved man related the incident, adding: "Now what shall I do about this?"
"I would advise you to stand pat," replied Mr. Blaine. "I think he will make it a thousand dollars."
THE CANNY SCOT
In an English railway compartment two travelers were seated--an American and a keen-eyed old Scotchman.
When the guard came to take up their tickets, the latter had great difficulty in locating his. He kept the official waiting so long, while he rummaged through his many pockets, that the ticket taker went on his way, saying that he would come back to find out the result of the search.
When the guard had gone the American saw the lost piece of cardboard protruding from the old fellow's mouth and promptly notified its owner, thinking it a case of absent-mindedness.
Whereupon the wily Scot rejoined: "Don't you think I know it? But the ticket's a month old, and I'm a-suckin' off the date."