"Since you are not to be trusted, I shall fool you by abolishing the old method. Hereafter I shall begin at the end of the alphabet and go backward."
WANTED TO DRESS LIKE THE OTHERS
Little Elizabeth was allowed to stand on the landing and feast her eyes on the handsome women in evening dress at her mother's party. Presently she beckoned to her mother and anxiously asked:
"Mother, may I take off my guimpe?"
"Mercy, no," said her mother; "it is the middle of winter and you would take your death of cold."
"Well," said the child, regretfully, "look there; nearly all the ladies have theirs off."
EVENING UP ACCOUNTS
During the South African War, letters sent home by British soldiers had to pass through the hands of a censor. A certain private had sent four or five letters home, and portions had been obliterated by the censor and were therefore illegible on their arrival at their destination. He decided to even accounts with the censor, and at the foot of the next letter he wrote: "Please look under the stamp."
At the censor's office the letter was opened and read as usual. The officer in charge spent some time in steaming the stamp from the envelope, but his feelings can be better imagined than described when he read these words:
"Was it hard to get off?"