"Can you tell me of my wife's whereabouts?" he asked of the family servant.
Bridget hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Faith, to tell ye the truth, I really belave they're in the wash."
THE SKYSCRAPER
At a recent dinner there were present a Frenchman and his wife who had recently come to America. They were having some difficulty with our language.
In the course of the conversation, the Frenchman remarked to his neighbor at table, "I haf moosh interest in your high beeldings in zis countree. Vot you call zem--sky creepers?"
"Oh, no," broke in his wife, "zat iss not right. It iss sky scratchers."
POOR JUDGMENT
"But, papa," protested Gladys, "I am not a bit too young to marry. You know perfectly well that you married mamma when she was eighteen, and I am a whole year older than that."
"I know, but I never thought much of your mother's judgment in that respect."
HE WOULD TAKE IT WITH HIM