A caller stopped at the house of a certain man and asked if he was at home.
"'Deed, an' he's not," replied the woman who answered his ring.
"Can you tell me where he is?"
"I cannot."
"When did you see him last?"
"At his funeral."
"And who may you be?"
"I'm his remains," said the widow, and she closed the door.
MIXED PROVERBS
On a cabbage patch owned by a negro in a Southern community oil was found. Speculators offered the negro $20,000, which was accepted without waiting to consider another proposition, said to be worth $40,000.