THE LANDLADY'S INDIGNATION
"Well, how did you rest last night?" asked the landlady of the new boarder.
"I didn't rest much," he replied, "I was troubled all night with insomnia."
"Sir," was the landlady's indignant comment, "I've never heard such a complaint before in my twenty-two years a housekeeper, and I'd have you know, sir, I've had your betters as my boarders! Moreover," she went on, as he began to mumble an explanation, "I do not believe you, sir, and am willing to board you free if you find a single one in that bed."
A TEMPERANCE SERMON
At a recent dinner, Colonel McC---- made a speech in which he said that his frequent going to dinners tended to impair his digestive apparatus. He concluded by saying that he was somewhat in the position of the editor of the country weekly who announced in one issue of his paper:
"For the evil effects of intemperance, see our inside."
BOOKS AND AUTHORS
A teacher in the Girls' High School vouches for the story of an incident which occurred during the examination of one of her classes in English literature. One of the questions was:
"Give a quotation, name of book in which it appears, and name of the author of the book."