"Me and my mates are telegraph linesmen and we are testing a new wire."
KNEW HOW TO GET IT
A prominent New Yorker has a wife who is a model of all the domestic virtues. Among her accomplishments is a talent for bread-making and she naturally takes great pride in having her loaves turn out well. One evening after setting her bread as usual, her eight-year-old son came running up-stairs crying, "Mamma, mamma, a mouse has jumped into your bread pan!"
The good woman was much perturbed. "Did you take him out?" she asked.
"No'm, but I did just as well. I threw the cat in, an' she's diggin' after him to beat the band!"
STILL LOST
Sir C. Purdon Clarke, during his New York visit, often went to the Metropolitan Museum unaccompanied, and walked homeward through Central Park. One afternoon, near the Obelisk, he saw a scantily clad woman crying, and spoke to her.
"I want to go to the Brooklyn bridge," she explained, "and I've lost my way."
Unaccustomed to New York street mendicants, the London art enthusiast supplied sympathy, directions as to route, and a liberal allowance of car fare. Three days afterward he was stopped by the same woman, who again wanted to go to the Brooklyn bridge.
"Goodness gracious!" exclaimed Sir Purdon, "haven't you got to the bridge yet?"