A STORY OF LLOYD OSBORNE
Lloyd Osborne, kinsman and collaborator of Robert Louis Stevenson, called on the cashier of a leading magazine one day, after vainly writing several times for a check due him.
"I am sorry," explained the cashier, "but Colonel So-and-So who always signs our checks, is confined at home with the gout."
"But, my dear man," expostulated the author-collector, "does he sign them with his feet?"
DIDN'T MIND
"I suppose, Jerry," said the eminent statesman, looking through his pocket-book for a new dollar bill, "like a lot of other folks nowadays, you would rather have clean money?"
"Oh, that's all right, Senator," said the cabman. "I don't care how you made your money."
NOT UP-TO-DATE
Thomas A. Edison is very fond of children. While on a visit recently he was endeavoring to amuse the son of the host, when the youngster asked him to draw an engine. Mr. Edison promptly set to work, and, thinking it would please the child, he added a couple of extra smokestacks and several imaginary parts. When the plan was completed the boy eyed it critically; then he turned to the inventor with disapproval in every feature.
"You don't know much about engines, do you?" he said with infantile frankness. "Engines may have been that way in your time, but they've changed a whole lot since then."