A VOCATION.—478.
"You're a loafer—a man without a calling," said a judge to a person arrested as a vagrant. "I beg your pardon, your honour, I have a vocation." "What is it?" "I smoke glass for eclipses, but just now it is our dull season."
MAJOR DOWNING IN LONDON.—479.
The Queen regretted that she could not invite me to stay to dinner, cause 'twas washin' day in the palace, and they only had a pick-up dinner.
ANY BETTER THAN NONE.—480.
It may be said generally of husbands, as the old woman said of hers, who had abused her to an old maid, who reproached her for being such a fool as to marry him:—"To be sure, he's not so good a husband as he should be, but he's a powerful sight better than none."
A PRINTER'S TOAST.—481.
At a printer's festival the following sentiment was offered:—"Woman, second only to the press in the dissemination of news."
WASHINGTON IRVING.—482.
Washington Irving's characteristic was quiet humour; mild enough, but quaint; as when he said to a gentleman who, in a thunder-storm, declined to take shelter under a tree, having promised to his father, who had been once hit, never to do so: "Oh, that makes all the difference in the world. If it is hereditary, and lightning runs in the family, you are wise."