EXTRAORDINARY MOTTO.—141.
The New York Herald has the following for its motto:—"Take no shin-plasters (all damned rogues who issue them), live temperately, drink moderately, eschew temperance societies, take care of the sixpences, never hurt a saint, go to bed at ten, rise at six, never buy on credit, fear God Almighty, love the beautiful girls, vote against Van Buren, and kick all politicians and parsons to the devil."
EXCESSIVE POLITENESS.—142.
A Californian poet gives the following lesson on politeness to the youth of the Golden State:—
"Indeed, my friends, far better it would seem,
Were you to choose the opposite extreme;
Like one 'Down East' who an umbrella took,
And from the rain gave shelter to a duck;
Who to a limping dog once lent his arm,
And to a setting hen said, 'Don't rise, ma'am;'
Nor e'er to lifeless things respect did lack—
Said always to a chair, 'Excuse my back;'
'Excuse my curiosity,' he said to books;
And to the looking-glass, 'Excuse my looks.'"
"A SHELL IN DE STOVE."—143.
The New York Herald's Morris Island correspondent relates as follows an incident of the operations at Charleston:—Quite an uproar was occasioned in the rear of the Herald's tent here yesterday. General Terry, whose head-quarters adjoin those of your correspondent, has a sable cook, who wanted some lead for his fishing-tackle, and undertook to melt some from the outside of a ten-pound Parrot shell, which he discovered lying about the camp. Placing the projectile in a stove, and seating himself where he could catch the molten metal in a shovel as it fell, he soon had the satisfaction of seeing one of the most startling views ever brought to his vision. The shell exploded, and besides blowing the stove and cookhouse to atoms, inflicted serious wounds upon the darkey. My servant, a contraband from Beaufort, gave vent to the universal sentiment, while he was surveying the wreck which the explosion occasioned, and from which we so narrowly escaped, in the following sage remark:—"De dam ole fool, come clar gown yere f'm Bos'n an' put a shell in de stove!" If General Terry's niggers continue to obtain their "sinkers" in this manner, you may expect to hear that the Herald's head-quarters have been removed.
DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.—144.
In New York, a quick-witted toper went into a bar-room and called for something to drink. "We don't sell liquor," said the law-evading landlord; "we will give you a glass, and then if you want a cracker (a biscuit) we'll sell it you for three cents." The "good creature" was handed down, and our hero took a stiff horn; when, turning round to depart, the unsuspecting landlord handed him the dish of crackers, with the remark, "You'll buy a cracker?" "Well, no, I guess not; you sell 'em too dear. I can get lots on 'm five or six for a cent anywhere else."