EDITORIAL TRIBULATIONS.—145.
The editor of the American Mechanic has encountered trials unknown to ordinary men. Just hearken unto his wailings:—"Owing to the fact that our paper-maker disappointed us, the failure of the mails deprived us of our exchanges, a Dutch pedlar stole our scissors, the rats ran off with the paste, and the devils went to the circus, while the editor was at home tending the baby, our paper is unavoidably postponed beyond the period of its publication."
SAMBO AND CUFFEE.—146.
Varnum S. Mills, of this city, tells a story illustrative of the simplicity of Virginia niggers. He was visiting a friend in the Old Dominion, who owns many slaves, among whom were two, named Sambo and Cuffee, who seemed to be mortal enemies. Sambo was a favourite with the master, who one day said to him: "Sambo, you have always been a good nigger, and when you die you shall have a funeral. My family will all attend, and all the niggers shall be present, and Cuffee shall be a pall-bearer." The darkey looked his master in the face with the simplicity of a soft clam when dug out of the mud at low tide, and indignantly responded: "Massa, if Cuffee comes to de funeril, I won't go to the grabe." It apparently did not occur to Sambo that he should be "conveyed" thither.
AN ODE ON GAS.—147.
A country town having been recently lighted with gas, the local editor electrifies the community with an ode:
"Luminous blaze!
I never seen the like in all my born days!
Tallow candles ain't no mor'n tar
When you're about;
And spirit lamps is no whar,
Bein clean dun out.
"Sparkling lite!
I think I never seen anything half so brite;
Everything is amazing clear;
The hidjus glume
Is defunct; and every cheer
Is apparient in the rume!
"Gloryous halo!
Your skintelashuns make a surprising display;
You don't need no snuffers,
But you are just scrude out;
When you are squenched by puffers,
Ojus fumes aryse.