A GUARDED ANSWER.—208.
In one of our courts lately a man who was called upon to appear as a witness could not be found. On the judge asking where he was, an elderly gentleman rose up, and with much emphasis said, "Your honour, he's gone." "Gone! gone!" said the judge, "where is he gone?" "That I cannot inform you," replied the communicative gentleman, "but he is dead." This is considered the best guarded answer on record.
QUEER QUERIES.—209.
Is Death's door opened with a skeleton key? Would you say a lady dressed loud who was covered all over with bugles? Is there any truth in the report that the Arabs who live in the desert have sandy hair? In selling a Newfoundland dog do you know whether it is valued according to what it will fetch or what it will bring?
DO YOU SMOKE?—210.
A sharper, seeing a country gentlemen sitting alone at an inn, and thinking something might be made out of him, entered, and called for a paper of tobacco. "Dou you smoke, sir?" asked the sharper. "Yes," said the gentleman, very gravely; "any one that has a design upon me."
A RAT STORY.—211.
The Greenfield Gazette is responsible for the following rat story:—"A family in South Deer field, Massachusetts, left some Indian meal on the bottom of an iron pan in which they had baked a johnny-cake the night previous, in the buttery, one of the recent cold nights, which the rats attempted to eat; but the frost on the iron froze their tongues to the pan so that they could not release them, and they were caught the next morning."