"Papa," said Mr. Brown's youngest son, the other day, "can't I go to the circus?" "No, my pet," affectionately replied Mr. B.; "if you are a good boy, I will take you to see your grandmother's grave this afternoon."
HOTEL RULES AT THE "DIGGINS."—213.
The proprietor of a Reese River Hotel (according to Hoyle, who has just returned) has posted up the following "Rules and Regulations":—Board must be paid in advance; with beans, 15 dols.; without beans, 12 dols. Salt free. Boarders not permitted to speak to the cook. No extras allowed. Potatoes for dinner. "Pocketing" at meals strictly forbidden. Gentlemen are expected to wash out of doors, and find their own water. No charges for ice. Towel bags at the end of the house. Extra charges for seats round the stove. Lodgers must furnish their own straw. Beds on bar-room floor reserved for regular customers. Persons sleeping in the bar are requested not to take off their boots. Lodgers inside arise at five a.m.; in the barn at six o'clock. Each man sweeps up his own bed. No quartz taken at the bar. No fighting allowed at the table. Any one violating the above rules will be shot.
ODD NAMES.—214.
What odd names some mortals are blessed with! We heard of a family in Michigan whose sons were named One Stickney, Two Stickney, Three Stickney; and whose daughters were named First Stickney, Second Stickney, and so on. Three elder children of a family in Vermont were named Joseph, And, Another; and it is supposed that, should they have any more, they might have named them Also, Moreover, Nevertheless, and Notwithstanding. Another family actually named their child Finis, supposing that it was their last; but they afterwards happened to have a daughter and two sons, whom they called Addenda, Appendix, and Supplement. A man in Pennsylvania called his second son James Also, and the third William Likewise.
LEGAL ADVICE UNDER SINGULAR CIRCUMSTANCES.—215.
A client, while bathing in the sea, saw his lawyer rise up, after a long dive, at his side. "Ho, there Mr. ——, have you taken out a warrant against Burt?" "He is in quod," replied the agent, and dived again, showing his heels as a parting view to his client; nor did the latter hear more of the interview with the shark until he got his account, containing the entry, "To consultation at sea, anent the incarceration of Burt, six shillings and eightpence."
SHARP CHILD.—216.
Recently the wife of one of the City fathers of New Bedford presented her husband with three children at a birth. The delighted father took his little daughter, four years of age, to see her new relations. She looked at the diminutive little beings a few moments, when, turning to her father, she inquired: "Pa, which one are you going to keep?"