Colt's arms are useful when you want to fight, but if you want to run away, colt's legs are better.
INFANTILE IDEAS OF DISTANCE.—378.
A happy comment on the annihilation of time and space by locomotive agency was made by a little child who rode fifty miles in a railway train, and then took a coach to her uncle's house, some five miles further, and was asked on her arrival if she came by the cars. "We came a little way in the cars, and all the rest of the way in a carriage."
"DAT'S DE MYSTERY."—379.
Two darkies had bought a mess of pork in partnership, but Sam having no place to put his portion in, consented to trust the whole to Julius' keeping. The next morning they met, when Sam says—"Good mornin', Julius, anything happen strange or mysterious down in your vicinity lately?" "Yaas, Sam, most a strange thing happen at my house yesterlast night—all mystery, all mystery to me." "Ah, Julius, what was dat?" "Well, Sam, I tole you now. Dis morning I went down into the cellar for to get a piece of hog for dis darky's breakfast, and I put my hand down in de brine and felt all round, but no pork dere—all gone. Codn't tell what bewent with it, so I turned up de bar'l, and Sam, true as preachin', de rats had eat a hole clar froo de bottom of de bar'l, and dragged de pork all out!" Sam was petrified with astonishment, but presently said—"Why didn't de brine run out of the same hole?" "Ah, Sam, dat's de mystery."
OUR BOB.—380.
Judge S—— had a very wild son, named Bob, who was constantly on a spree, and upon being brought up once before the court for drunkenness, the judge cried out—"Is that our Bob?" Clerk: "Yes, sir." Judge: "Fine the rascal two dollars and costs; I'd make it ten dollars, if I didn't know it would come out of my own pocket."
SAMBO'S SUSPICION.—381.
A gentleman who holds a responsible position under Government concluded to change his lodgings. He sent one of the waiters of the hotel where he had selected apartments after his baggage. Meeting the waiter an hour or two afterwards, he said—"Well, Sambo, did you bring my baggage down?" "No, sah!" blandly responded the sable gentleman. "Why, what was the reason?" "Case, sah, the gentleman in de office said you had not paid your bill." "Not paid my bill! why, that's singular—he knew me very well when he kept the Girard House, in Philadelphia." "Well, mebbe," rejoined Sambo, thoughtfully scratching his head, "dat was de reason he wouldn't gib me de baggage."