Ax. 2.—Whenever possible, the number of N.C.O.’s in a Field Ambulance shall exceed the number of men by 50 per cent., in order that the said N.C.O.’s may have a twenty-four hours’ rest when on duty, supervising fatigues, etc. (This Axiom is taken from the detailed account of Corps Orders made by William the Conqueror in the year 1066.)
Ax. 3.—A Field Ambulance shall never under any circumstances move off on the first instance, but all necessary fatigue for the moving shall be fully indulged. Only under extreme circumstances may it move on the second instance. (Vide AAZQP, Para. 14490053.)
Ax. 4.—All batmen in a Field Ambulance shall be equal to anything.
Ax. 5.—If at any time a Field Ambulance should be lost, the finder will, provided he doesn’t require it for a war curio, immediately place it in the most isolated place available, and forget it, because several others are trying to do the same.
—Yours truly,
Nobby,
Actg. D.A.L.C. & P.O.
To Abdul Mustafa Mahomet, Bird Trenches (or neighbouring green)
From Holly Spur, Suicide Valley, Anzac.
Decem., 1915.
Dear Abdul,—I’m scribbling this letter in the trench with my back to the wall, and I’ve heaps of good news that I’d better get down while I think of it all. You’ve been so abnormally quiet—say, Abdul, has something gone wrong? Not a charge or a sign of a riot, not for ever and ever so long. They tell me you’re sick of campaigning, that you’d aim in your kit if you could; that your courage and patience are waning, and the prospects ain’t looking too good. Are you counting your hopes of returning to that little home there in the wood, where there’s peace, and a good fire burning, and the rations are plenty and good?
It’s near Christmas, you know—that’s the reason we’ve buried our growls for a while; for you couldn’t be sad in the season when everyone’s wearing a smile. But, of course, I forgot you’re not sharing the joy that we Christians know, and I guess you’re not giving or caring a damn for the whole bally show.