“He then went out, and I finished dressing myself as quickly as possible. I only waited till they called to prayers for the last time, when I hastened to commence my expedition; but this malicious barber, who seemed aware of my intentions, was satisfied with accompanying my people only within sight of his own house, and seeing them go in. He afterwards concealed himself at the corner of the street, to observe and follow me. In short, when I got to the door of the cadi, I turned round, and perceived him at the end of the street. This sight put me into the greatest rage.
“The cadi’s door was half open, and when I went in, I saw the old lady who was waiting for me, and who, as soon as she had shut the door, conducted me to the apartment of the young lady with whom I was so much in love. But I had hardly began to enter into any conversation with her, before we heard a great noise in the street. The young lady ran to the window, and looking through the blinds, perceived that it was the cadi, her father, who was already returning from prayers. I looked out at the same time, and saw the barber seated exactly opposite, and on the same bench from whence I had beheld the lady the first time.
“I had now two subjects for alarm, the arrival of the cadi, and the presence of the barber. The young lady dissipated my fears on the first, by telling me, that her father very rarely came up into her apartment; and as she had foreseen, that such an interruption might take place, she had prepared the means for my escape, in case of necessity; but the indiscretion of that unlucky barber caused me great uneasiness, and you will soon perceive that this disquietude was not without foundation.
“As soon as the cadi was returned home he himself inflicted the bastinado on a slave who had deserved it. The slave uttered loud cries, which were distinguishable even in the street. The barber thought I was the person whom they were treating ill, and that these were my cries. Fully persuaded of this, he began to call out as loud as he could, to tear his clothes, throw dust upon his head, and call for help to all the neighbours, who soon ran out to him. They inquired what was the matter, and what assistance they could give him. ‘Alas!’ cried he, ‘they are assassinating my master, my dear lord,’ and without saying another word, he ran to my house, crying out in the same way, and returned, followed by all my servants armed with sticks. They knocked furiously at the door of the cadi, who sent a slave to know what the noise was about; but the slave, quite frightened, returned to his master, ‘My lord,’ said he, ‘above ten thousand men will come into your house by force, and are already beginning to break open the door.’
“The cadi ran himself to the door, and inquired what they wanted. His venerable appearance did not inspire my people with any respect, and they insolently addressed him, ‘Cursed cadi! you dog! for what reason are you going to murder our master? What has he done to you?’—‘My good people,’ replied the cadi, ‘why should I murder your master, whom I do not know, and who has never offended me? My door is open, you may come in and search my house.’—‘You have given him the bastinado,’ said the barber, ‘I heard his cries not a minute ago.’—‘But,’ replied the cadi, ‘as I said before, in what can your master have offended me, that I should ill-treat him thus? Is he in my house? and if he is, how could he get in, or who could have introduced him?’—‘You will not make me believe you, with your great beard, you wicked cadi,’ resumed the barber, ‘I know what I say. Your daughter loves our master, and appointed a meeting in your house during the mid-day prayers; you no doubt received information of it, and returned quickly; you surprised him here, and ordered your slaves to give him the bastinado; but this wicked action shall not remain unpunished; the caliph shall be informed of it, and will execute a severe and speedy sentence on you. Give him his liberty, and let him come out directly, otherwise we will go in and take him from you to your shame.’—‘There is no occasion to say so much about it,’ said the cadi, ‘nor to make such a bustle; if what you say is true, you have only to go in and search for him; I give you full permission.’ The cadi had scarcely spoken these words, when the barber and my people burst into the house, like a set of furious madmen, and began to seek for me in every corner.
“As I heard every thing the barber said to the cadi, I endeavoured to find out some place to conceal myself in. I was unable to discover any other than a large empty chest, into which I immediately got, and shut the lid down upon me. After the barber had searched every other place, he did not fail coming into the apartment where I was. He went directly to the chest, and opened it; and as soon as he perceived that I was in it, he took it up and carried it away upon his head. He descended from the top of the staircase, which was very high, into a court, through which he quickly passed, and at last reached the street-door.
“As he was carrying me along the street, the lid of the chest unfortunately opened: I had not resolution enough to bear the shame and disgrace of being thus exposed to the populace who followed us; I jumped down, therefore, into the street in such a hurry, that I hurt myself violently, and have been lame ever since. I did not at first perceive the full extent of my misfortune; I therefore made haste to get up and run away from the people who were laughing at me. At the same time, I scattered a handful or two of gold and silver, with which I had filled my purse, and while they were stopping to pick it up, I made my escape by passing through several private streets. But the cursed barber, taking advantage of the trick which I had made use of to get rid of the crowd, followed me so closely, that he never once lost sight of me; and all the time he continued calling aloud, ‘Stop, sir, why do you run so fast? You know not how much I have felt for you, on account of the ill usage you have received from the cadi; and well I might, as you have been so generous to me and my friends, and we are under such obligations to you. Did I not truly inform you, that you would endanger your life through your obstinacy in not suffering me to accompany you? All this has happened to you through your own fault; and I know not what would have become of you, if I had not obstinately determined to follow you, and observe which way you went. Where then, my lord, are you running? Pray wait for me.’
“It was in this manner that the unlucky barber kept calling out to me all through the street. He was not satisfied with having scandalized me so completely in the quarter of the town where the cadi resided, but seemed to wish that the whole city should become acquainted with my disgrace. This put me into such a rage, that I could have stopped and strangled him, but that would only have increased my distraction. I therefore went another way to work. As I perceived, that by his calling out, the eyes of every one were attracted towards me, some looking out of the windows, and others stopping in the street to stare at me; I went into a khan, [8] the master of which was known to me. I found him indeed at the door, where the noise and uproar had brought him. ‘In the name of God,’ I cried, ‘do me the favor to prevent that mad fellow from following me in here.’ He not only promised me to do so, but he kept his word; although it was not without great difficulty: for the obstinate barber attempted to force an entrance in spite of him. Nor did he retire before he uttered a thousand abusive words: and he continued to tell every one he met, till he reached his own house, the very great service he pretended to have done me.
“It was thus that I got rid of this tiresome man. The master of the khan then entreated me to give him an account of my adventure. I did so; after which I asked him, in my turn, to let me have an apartment in his house till I was quite cured. ‘You will be much better accommodated, sir,’ he said, ‘in your own house.’—‘I do not wish to return there,’ I answered, ‘for that detestable barber will not fail to find me out, I shall then be pestered with him every day; and it would absolutely kill me with vexation, to have him constantly before my eyes. Besides, after what has happened to me this day, I am determined not to remain any longer in this city. I will wander wherever my ill-stars may direct me.’ In short, as soon as I was cured, I took as much money as I thought would be sufficient for my journey, and gave the remainder of my fortune to my relations.
“I then set out from Bagdad, gentlemen, and arrived here. I had every reason, at least to hope that I should not have met with this mischievous barber, in a country so distant from my own; and I now discover him in your company. Be not therefore surprised at my anxiety and eagerness to retire. You may judge of the painful sensations the sight of this man causes me, by whose means I became lame, and was reduced to the dreadful necessity of giving up my relations, my friends, and my country.”