Didn't Need To
A young Irishman recently applied for a job as life-saver at the municipal baths.
As he was about six feet six inches high and well built, the chief life-saver gave him an application blank to fill out.
"By the way," said the chief life-saver, "can you swim?"
"No," replied the applicant; "but I can wade like blazes!"
He Got the Job
Police Commissioner—"If you were ordered to disperse a mob what would you do?"
Applicant—"Pass around the hat."
P.C.—"You'll do."
Two Strings to Her Beau