CONTENTS

I: BANTER

page

The Played-Out HumoristW. S. Gilbert[25]
The Practical JokerW. S. Gilbert[26]
To PhœbeW. S. Gilbert[28]
MalbrouckFather Prout[29]
Mark Twain: A Pipe DreamOliver Herford[30]
From a Full HeartA. A. Milne[31]
The Ultimate JoyUnknown[32]
Old Fashioned FunW. M. Thackeray[33]
When Moonlike Ore the Hazure SeasW. M. Thackeray[34]
When the Frost is on the PunkinJames Whitcomb Riley[34]
Two MenEdwin Arlington Robinson[35]
A Familiar Letter to Several CorrespondentsOliver Wendell Holmes[36]
The Height of the RidiculousOliver Wendell Holmes[38]
Shake, Mulleary and Go-etheH. C. Bunner[40]
A RondelayPeter A. Motteux[41]
Winter DuskR. K. Munkittrick[42]
Comic MiseriesJohn G. Saxe[42]
Early RisingJohn G. Saxe[44]
To the Pliocene SkullBret Harte[46]
Ode to Work in SpringtimeThomas R. Ybarra[47]
Old StuffBert Leston Taylor[48]
To MinervaThomas Hood[49]
The Legend of Heinz Von SteinCharles Godfrey Leland[49]
The Truth About HoraceEugene Field[50]
Propinquity NeededCharles Battell Loomis[51]
In the CatacombsHarlan Hoge Ballard[52]
Our Native BirdsNathan Haskell Dole[53]
The Prayer of Cyrus BrownSam Walter Foss[54]
Erring in CompanyFranklin P. Adams[55]
CupidWilliam Blake[56]
If We Didn't Have to EatNixon Waterman[57]
To My Empty PurseGeoffrey Chaucer[58]
The Birth of Saint PatrickSamuel Lover[58]
Her Little FeetWilliam Ernest Henley[59]
SchoolJames Kenneth Stephen[60]
The MillenniumJames Kenneth Stephen[60]
"Exactly So"Lady T. Hastings[61]
CompanionsCharles Stuart Calverley[63]
The SchoolmasterCharles Stuart Calverley[64]
A Appeal for Are to the Sextant of the old Brick MeetinouseArabella Willson[66]
Cupid's DartsUnknown[67]
A Plea for TrigamyOwen Seaman[68]
The PopeCharles Lever[70]
All at SeaFrederick Moxon[70]
Ballad of the Primitive JestAndrew Lang[72]
Villanelle of Things AmusingGelett Burgess[73]
How to Eat WatermelonsFrank Libby Stanton[73]
A Vague StoryWalter Parke[74]
His Mother-in-LawWalter Parke[75]
On a Deaf HousekeeperUnknown[76][Pg xi]
Homœopathic SoupUnknown[76]
Some Little BugRoy Atwell[77]
On the Downtown Side of an Uptown StreetWilliam Johnston[79]
Written After Swimming from Sestos to AbydosLord Byron[80]
The Fisherman's ChantF. C. Burnand[81]
Report of an Adjudged CaseWilliam Cowper[82]
Prehistoric SmithDavid Law Proudfit[83]
SongGeorge Canning[84]
LyingThomas Moore[86]
Strictly Germ-ProofArthur Guiterman[87]
The Lay of the Lover's FriendWilliam B. Aytoun[88]
Man's Place in NatureUnknown[89]
The New VersionW. J. Lampton[90]
Amazing Facts About FoodUnknown[91]
TranscendentalismUnknown[92]
A "Caudal" LectureWilliam Sawyer[92]
SaladSydney Smith[93]
NemesisJ. W. Foley[94]
"Mona Lisa"John Kendrick Bangs[95]
The Siege of DjklxprwbzEugene Fitch Ware[96]
Rural BlissAnthony C. Deane[97]
An Old BachelorTudor Jenks[98]
SongJ. R. Planché[99]
The Quest of the Purple CowHilda Johnson[100]
St. Patrick of Ireland, My Dear!William Maginn[101]
The Irish SchoolmasterJames A. Sidey[103]
Reflections on Cleopathera's NeedleCormac O'Leary[105]
The Origin of IrelandUnknown[106]
As to the WeatherUnknown[107]
The TwinsHenry S. Leigh[108]
II: THE ETERNAL FEMININE
He and SheEugene Fitch Ware[109]
The KissTom Masson[109]
The Courtin'James Russell Lowell[110]
Hiram HoverBayard Taylor[113]
Blow Me Eyes!Wallace Irwin[115]
First LoveCharles Stuart Calverley[116]
What Is a Woman Like?Unknown[118]
Mis' SmithAlbert Bigelow Paine[119]
TrioletPaul T. Gilbert[120]
Bessie Brown, M.D.Samuel Minturn Peck[120]
A Sketch from the LifeArthur Guiterman[121]
Minguillo's KissUnknown[122]
A Kiss in the RainSamuel Minturn Peck[123]
The Love-KnotNora Perry[124]
Over the WayMary Mapes Dodge[125]
Chorus of WomenAristophanes[126]
The Widow MaloneCharles Lever[126]
The Smack in SchoolWilliam Pitt Palmer[128]
'Späcially JimBessie Morgan[129]
Kitty of ColeraineEdward Lysaght[130]
Why Don't the Men Propose?Thomas Haynes Bayly[130]
A PinElla Wheeler Wilcox[132]
The WhistlerUnknown[133]
The CloudOliver Herford[134]
ConstancyJohn Boyle O'Reilly[137]
Ain't it Awful, Mabel?John Edward Hazzard[137]
Wing Tee WeeJ. P. Denison[139][Pg xii]
Phyllis LeeOliver Herford[139]
The Sorrows of WertherW. M. Thackeray[140]
The UnattainableHarry Romaine[141]
Rory O'More; or, Good OmensSamuel Lover[141]
A Dialogue from PlatoAustin Dobson[142]
Dora Versus RoseAustin Dobson[144]
Tu QuoqueAustin Dobson[146]
Nothing to WearWilliam Allen Butler[148]
My Mistress's BootsFrederick Locker-Lampson[153]
Mrs. SmithFrederick Locker-Lampson[155]
A Terrible InfantFrederick Locker-Lampson[156]
SusanFrederick Locker-Lampson[157]
"I Didn't Like Him"Harry B. Smith[157]
My AngelineHarry B. Smith[158]
Nora's VowSir Walter Scott[159]
Husband and HeathenSam Walter Foss[160]
The Lost PleiadArthur Reed Ropes[161]
The New Church OrganWill Carleton[162]
Larrie O'DeeWilliam W. Fink[165]
No Fault in WomenRobert Herrick[166]
A Cosmopolitan WomanUnknown[167]
Courting in KentuckyFlorence E. Pratt[168]
Any One Will DoUnknown[169]
A Bird in the HandFrederic E. Weatherly[170]
The Belle of the BallWinthrop Mackworth Praed[171]
The RetortGeorge Pope Morris[174]
Behave Yoursel' Before FolkAlexander Rodger[174]
The Chronicle: A BalladAbraham Cowley[176]
Buxom JoanWilliam Congreve[179]
Oh, My GeraldineF. C. Burnand[180]
The ParterreE. H. Palmer[180]
How to Ask and HaveSamuel Lover[181]
Sally in Our AlleyHenry Carey[182]
False Love and True LogicLaman Blanchard[183]
Pet's PunishmentJ. Ashby-Sterry[184]
Ad Chloen, M.A.Mortimer Collins[184]
Chloe, M.A.Mortimer Collins[185]
The Fair MillingerFred W. Loring[186]
Two FishersUnknown[188]
MaudHenry S. Leigh[188]
Are Women Fair?Francis Davison[189]
The PlaidieCharles Sibley[190]
Feminine ArithmeticCharles Graham Halpine[191]
Lord GuyGeorge F. Warren[191]
Sary "Fixes Up" ThingsAlbert Bigelow Paine[192]
The Constant Cannibal MaidenWallace Irwin[194]
Widow Bedott to Elder SnifflesFrances M. Whitcher[195]
Under the MistletoeGeorge Francis Shults[196]
The Broken PitcherWilliam E. Aytoun[196]
Gifts ReturnedWalter Savage Landor[198]
III: LOVE AND COURTSHIP
Noureddin, the Son of the ShahClinton Scollard[199]
The Usual WayFrederic E. Weatherly[200]
The Way to ArcadyH. C. Bunner[201]
My Love and My HeartHenry S. Leigh[204]
Quite by ChanceFrederick Langbridge[205]
The NunLeigh Hunt[206]
The Chemist to His LoveUnknown[206]
Categorical CourtshipUnknown[207]
Lanty LearySamuel Lover[208][Pg xiii]
The Secret CombinationEllis Parker Butler[209]
Forty Years AfterH. H. Porter[210]
CupidBen Jonson[211]
Paring-Time AnticipatedWilliam Cowper[212]
WhyH. P. Stevens[214]
The Sabine Farmer's SerenadeFather Prout[214]
I Hae Laid a Herring in SautJames Tytler[216]
The Clown's CourtshipUnknown[217]
Out Upon ItSir John Suckling[218]
Love is Like a DizzinessJames Hogg[218]
The Kitchen ClockJohn Vance Cheney[220]
Lady MineH. E. Clarke[221]
Ballade of the Golfer in LoveClinton Scollard[222]
Ballade of Forgotten LovesArthur Grissom[223]
IV: SATIRE
A Ballade of SuicideG. K. Chesterton[224]
Finnigan to FlanniganS. W. Gillinan[225]
Study of an Elevation in Indian Ink Rudyard Kipling[226]
The V-a-s-eJames Jeffrey Roche[227]
Miniver CheevyEdwin Arlington Robinson[229]
The RecruitRobert W. Chambers[230]
Officer BradyRobert W. Chambers[232]
Post-ImpressionismBert Leston Taylor[235]
To the Portrait of "A Gentleman"Oliver Wendell Holmes[236]
Cacoethes ScribendiOliver Wendell Holmes[238]
ContentmentOliver Wendell Holmes[238]
A Boston LullabyJames Jeffrey Roche[240]
A Grain of SaltWallace Irwin[241]
SongRichard Lovelace[241]
A PhilosopherSam Walter Foss[242]
The Meeting of the ClabberhusesSam Walter Foss[244]
The Ideal Husband to His WifeSam Walter Foss[246]
DistichsJohn Hay[247]
The Hen-roost ManRuth McEnery Stuart[247]
If They Meant All They SayAlice Duer Miller[247]
The ManStephen Crane[248]
A ThoughtJames Kenneth Stephen[248]
The Musical AssTomaso de Yriarte[249]
The Knife-GrinderGeorge Canning[249]
St. Anthony's Sermon to the FishesAbraham á Sancta-Clara[251]
The Battle of BlenheimRobert Southey[252]
The Three Black CrowsJohn Byrom[254]
To the Terrestrial GlobeW. S. Gilbert[256]
EtiquetteW. S. Gilbert[256]
A Modest WitSelleck Osborn[260]
The Latest DecalogueArthur Hugh Clough[261]
A SimileMatthew Prior[262]
By Parcels PostGeorge R. Sims[262]
All's Well That Ends WellUnknown[264]
The ContrastCaptain C. Morris[265]
The Devonshire LaneJohn Marriott[266]
A Splendid FellowH. C. Dodge[267]
IfH. C. Dodge[268]
Accepted and Will AppearParmenas Mix[268]
The Little VagabondWilliam Blake[269]
SympathyReginald Heber[270]
The Religion of HudibrasSamuel Butler[271]
Holy Willie's PrayerRobert Burns[272]
The Learned NegroUnknown[274]
True to PollF. C. Burnand[275][Pg xiv]
Trust in WomenUnknown[276]
The Literary LadyRichard Brinsley Sheridan[278]
Twelve ArticlesDean Swift[279]
All-SaintsEdmund Yates[280]
How to Make a Man of ConsequenceMark Lemon[280]
On a Magazine SonnetRussell Hilliard Loines[281]
ParadiseGeorge Birdseye[281]
The Friar of Orders GrayJohn O'Keefe[282]
Of a Certain ManSir John Harrington[282]
Clean ClaraW. B. Rands[283]
Christmas ChimesUnknown[284]
The Ruling PassionAlexander Pope[285]
The Pope and the NetRobert Browning[286]
The ActorJohn Wolcot[287]
The Lost SpectaclesUnknown[287]
That Texan Cattle ManJoaquin Miller[288]
FableRalph Waldo Emerson[290]
Hoch! Der KaiserRodney Blake[291]
What Mr. Robinson ThinksJames Russell Lowell[292]
The Candidate's CreedJames Russell Lowell[294]
The Razor SellerJohn Wolcot[297]
The Devil's Walk on EarthRobert Southey[298]
Father MolloySamuel Lover[307]
The Owl-CriticJames Thomas Fields[309]
What Will We Do?Robert J. Burdette[311]
Life in LaconicsMary Mapes Dodge[311]
On Knowing When to StopL. J. Bridgman[312]
Rev. Gabe Tucker's RemarksUnknown[312]
ThursdayFrederic E. Weatherly[313]
Sky-MakingMortimer Collins[314]
The PositivistsMortimer Collins[315]
Martial in LondonMortimer Collins[316]
The Splendid ShillingJohn Philips[316]
After HoraceA. D. Godley[320]
Of a Precise TailorSir John Harrington[322]
MoneyJehan du Pontalais[323]
Boston Nursery RhymesRev. Joseph Cook[324]
Kentucky PhilosophyHarrison Robertson[325]
John GrumlieAllan Cunningham[326]
A Song of ImpossibilitiesWinthrop Mackworth Praed[327]
SongJohn Donne[330]
The OubitCharles Kingsley[330]
Double Ballade of Primitive ManAndrew Lang[331]
Phillis's AgeMatthew Prior[332]
V: CYNICISM
Good and Bad LuckJohn Hay[334]
BangkolidyeBarry Pain[334]
Pensées De NoëlA. D. Godley[336]
A Ballade of an Anti-PuritanG. K. Chesterton[337]
PessimismNewton Mackintosh[338]
Cynical Ode to an Ultra-Cynical PublicCharles Mackay[339]
Youth and ArtRobert Browning[339]
The Bachelor's DreamThomas Hood[342]
All Things Except Myself I KnowFrancois Villon[343]
The Joys of MarriageCharles Cotton[344]
The Third PropositionMadeline Bridges[345]
The Ballad of Cassandra BrownHelen Gray Cone[345]
What's in a Name?R. K. Munkittrick[347]
Too LateFits Hugh Ludlow[348][Pg xv]
The AnnuityGeorge Outram[350]
K. K.—Can't CalculateFrances M. Whitcher[353]
Northern FarmerLord Tennyson[354]
Fin de SiècleUnknown[357]
Then Ag'inSam Walter Foss[357]
The PessimistBen King[358]
Without and WithinJames Russell Lowell[359]
Same Old StoryHarry B. Smith[360]
VI: EPIGRAMS
Woman's WillJohn G. Saxe[362]
Cynicus to W. ShakespeareJames Kenneth Stephen[362]
Senex to Matt. PriorJames Kenneth Stephen[362]
To a BlockheadAlexander Pope[362]
The Fool and the PoetAlexander Pope[363]
A RhymesterSamuel Taylor Coleridge[363]
Giles's HopeSamuel Taylor Coleridge[363]
CologneSamuel Taylor Coleridge[363]
An Eternal PoemSamuel Taylor Coleridge[364]
On a Bad SingerSamuel Taylor Coleridge[364]
JobSamuel Taylor Coleridge[364]
Reasons for DrinkingDr. Henry Aldrich[364]
SmatterersSamuel Butler[365]
HypocrisySamuel Butler[365]
To Doctor EmpiricBen Jonson[365]
A Remedy Worse than the DiseaseMatthew Prior[365]
A WifeRichard Brinsley Sheridan[366]
The Honey-MoonWalter Savage Landor[366]
DidoRichard Porson[366]
An EpitaphGeorge John Cayley[366]
On Taking a WifeThomas Moore[367]
Upon Being Obliged to Leave a Pleasant PartyThomas Moore[367]
Some LadiesFrederick Locker-Lampson[367]
On a Sense of HumorFrederick Locker-Lampson[367]
On Hearing a Lady Praise a Certain Rev. Doctor's EyesGeorge Outram[368]
Epitaph Intended for His WifeJohn Dryden[368]
To a Capricious FriendJoseph Addison[368]
Which is WhichJohn Byrom[368]
On a Full-Length Portrait of Beau MarshLord Chesterfield[369]
On ScotlandCleveland[369]
MendaxLessing[369]
To a Slow Walker and Quick Eater Lessing[369]
What's My Thought Like?Thomas Moore[370]
Of All the MenThomas Moore[370]
On Butler's MonumentRev. Samuel Wesley[370]
A Conjugal ConundrumUnknown[371]
VII: BURLESQUE
Lovers and a ReflectionCharles Stuart Calverley[372]
Our HymnOliver Wendell Holmes[374]
"Soldier, Rest!"Robert J. Burdette[374]
ImitationAnthony C. Deane[375]
The Mighty MustW. S. Gilbert[376]
Midsummer MadnessUnknown[377]
MavroneArthur Guiterman[378][Pg xvi]
LiliesDon Marquis[379]
For I am SadDon Marquis[379]
A Little Swirl of Vers LibreThomas R. Ybarra[380]
Young LochinvarUnknown[381]
Imagiste Love LinesUnknown[383]
BygonesBert Lesion Taylor[383]
Justice to ScotlandUnknown[384]
Lament of the Scotch-Irish ExileJames Jeffrey Roche[385]
A Song of SorrowCharles Battell Loomis[386]
The Rejected "National Hymns"Robert H. Newell[387]
The Editor's WooingRobert H. Newell[389]
The Baby's DebutJames Smith[390]
The CantelopeBayard Taylor[393]
Never Forget Your ParentsFranklin P. Adams[394]
A Girl was Too Reckless of GrammarGuy Wetmore Carryl[395]
Behold the Deeds!H. C. Bunner[397]
Villon's Straight Tip to All Cross CovesWilliam Ernest Henley[399]
Culture in the SlumsWilliam Ernest Henley[400]
The Lawyer's Invocation to SpringHenry Howard Brownell[402]
North, East, South, and WestUnknown[403]
Martin Luther at PotsdamBarry Pain[404]
An Idyll of Phatte and LeeneUnknown[406]
The House that Jack BuiltSamuel Taylor Coleridge[407]
Palabras GrandiosasBayard Taylor[407]
A Love PlayntGodfrey Turner[408]
DarwinityHerman C. Merivale[409]
Select Passages from a Coming PoetF. Anstey[410]
The Romaunt of Humpty DumptyHenry S. Leigh[411]
The WeddingThomas Hood, Jr.[412]
In Memoriam TechnicamThomas Hood, Jr.[413]
"Songs Without Words"Robert J. Burdette[413]
At the Sign of the CockOwen Seaman[414]
Presto FuriosoOwen Seaman[417]
To Julia in Shooting TogsOwen Seaman[418]
FarewellBert Leston Taylor[419]
Here is the TaleAnthony C. Deane[421]
The WillowsBret Harte[423]
A BalladGuy Wetmore Carryl[426]
The Translated WayFranklin P. Adams[427]
CommonplacesRudyard Kipling[427]
Angelo Orders His DinnerBayard Taylor[428]
The Promissory NoteBayard Taylor[429]
CameradosBayard Taylor[430]
The Last Ride TogetherJames Kenneth Stephen[431]
Imitation of Walt WhitmanUnknown[434]
SaladMortimer Collins[436]
IfMortimer Collins[436]
The Jabberwocky of AuthorsHarry Persons Taber[437]
The Town of NiceHerman C. Merivale[438]
The Willow-TreeW. M. Thackeray[439]
A Ballade of Ballade-MongersAugustus M. Moore[441]
VIII: BATHOS
The ConfessionRichard Harris Barham
["Thomas Ingoldsby">[		[443]
If You Have SeenThomas Moore[444]
CircumstanceFrederick Locker-Lampson[444]
ElegyArthur Guiterman[445][Pg xvii]
Our TravelerH. Cholmondeley-Pennell[445]
OptimismNewton Mackintosh[445]
The DeclarationN. P. Willis[446]
He Came to PayParmenas Mix[447]
The Forlorn OneRichard Harris Barham
["Thomas Ingoldsby">[		[449]
Rural RapturesUnknown[450]
A FragmentUnknown[450]
The Bitter BitWilliam E. Aytoun[451]
Comfort in AfflictionWilliam E. Aytoun[453]
The Husband's PetitionWilliam E. Aytoun[454]
Lines Written After a BattleUnknown[456]
LinesUnknown[456]
The Imaginative CrisisUnknown[457]
IX: PARODY
The Higher Pantheism in a Nut-Shell Algernon Charles Swinburne[458]
NephelidiaAlgernon Charles Swinburne[459]
Up the SpoutAlgernon Charles Swinburne[460]
In MemoriamCuthbert Bede[463]
Lucy LakeNewton Mackintosh[463]
The Cock and the BullCharles Stuart Calverley[464]
BalladCharles Stuart Calverley[467]
DisasterCharles Stuart Calverley[469]
Wordsworthian ReminiscenceUnknown[470]
Inspect UsEdith Daniell[471]
The Messed DamozelCharles Hanson Towne[471]
A Melton Mowbray Pork-PieRichard le Gallienne[472]
IsrafiddlestringsUnknown[472]
After Dilettante ConcettiH. D. Traill[474]
Whenceness of the WhichUnknown[476]
The Little StarUnknown[476]
The Original LambUnknown[477]
Sainte MargérieUnknown[477]
Robert FrostLouis Untermeyer[479]
Owen SeamanLouis Untermeyer[480]
The Modern HiawathaUnknown[482]
Somewhere-in-Europe-WockyF. G. Hartswick[482]
Rigid Body SingsJ. C. Maxwell[483]
A Ballad of High EndeavorUnknown[484]
Father WilliamLewis Carroll[485]
The Poets at TeaBarry Pain[486]
How OftenBen King[489]
If I Should Die To-NightBen King[489]
"The Day is Done"Phoebe Cary[490]
JacobPhoebe Cary[491]
Ballad of the CanalPhoebe Cary[492]
"There's a Bower of Beanvines"Phoebe Cary[493]
ReubenPhoebe Cary[493]
The WifePhoebe Cary[494]
When Lovely WomanPhoebe Cary[494]
John Thomson's DaughterPhoebe Cary[494]
A PortraitJohn Keats[496]
Annabel LeeStanley Huntley[497]
Home Sweet Home with VariationsH. C. Bunner[498]
An Old Song by New SingersA. C. Wilkie[506]
More ImpressionsOscuro Wildgoose[509]
Nursery Rhymes á la ModeUnknown[509]
A Maudle-In BalladUnknown[510][Pg xviii]
GillianUnknown[511]
Extracts from the Rubaiyat of Omar CayenneGelett Burgess[512]
Diversions of the Re-Echo ClubCarolyn Wells[515]
Styx River AnthologyCarolyn Wells[521]
Answer to Master Wither's Song, "Shall I, Wasting in Despair?"Ben Jonson[526]
Song of the SpringtideUnknown[527]
The Village ChoirUnknown[528]
My FoeUnknown[529]
Nursery Song in Pidgin EnglishUnknown[530]
Father WilliamUnknown[531]
A Poe-'em of PassionC. F. Lummis[532]
How the Daughters Come Down at DunoonH. Cholmondeley-Pennell[533]
To an Importunate HostUnknown[534]
CremationWilliam Sawyer[534]
An Imitation of WordsworthCatharine M. Fanshawe[535]
The Lay of the Love-LornAytoun and Martin[537]
Only SevenHenry S. Leigh[543]
'Twas Ever ThusHenry S. Leigh[544]
Foam and FangsWalter Parke[544]
X: NARRATIVE
Little BilleeW. M. Thackeray[546]
The Crystal PalaceW. M. Thackeray[547]
The Wofle New Ballad of Jane Roney and Mary BrownW. M. Thackeray[552]
King John and the AbbotUnknown[554]
On the Death of a Favorite CatThomas Gray[557]
Misadventures at MargateRichard Harris Barham
["Thomas Ingoldsby">[		[558]
The Gouty Merchant and the StrangerHorace Smith[563]
The Diverting History of John GilpinWilliam Cowper[564]
Paddy O'RaftherSamuel Lover[571]
Here She Goes and There She GoesJames Nack[572]
The Quaker's MeetingSamuel Lover[576]
The Jester Condemned to DeathHorace Smith[578]
The Deacon's MasterpieceOliver Wendell Holmes[580]
The Ballad of the OystermanOliver Wendell Holmes[583]
The Well of St. KeyneRobert Southey[584]
The Jackdaw of RheimsRichard Harris Barham
["Thomas Ingoldsby">[		[586]
The Knight and the LadyRichard Harris Barham
["Thomas Ingoldsby">[		[590]
An Eastern QuestionH. M. Paull[598]
My Aunt's SpectreMortimer Collins[600]
Casey at the BatErnest Lawrence Thayer[601]
The Pied Piper of HamelinRobert Browning[603]
The GooseLord Tennyson[611]
The Ballad of CharityCharles Godfrey Leland[613]
The Post CaptainCharles E. Carryl[615]
Robinson Crusoe's StoryCharles E. Carryl[617]
Ben BluffThomas Hood[619]
The Pilgrims and the PeasJohn Wolcot[621]
Tam O'ShanterRobert Burns[623]
That Gentleman from Boston TownJoaquin Miller[629]
The Yarn of the "Nancy Bell"W. S. Gilbert[632][Pg xix]
Ferdinando and ElviraW. S. Gilbert[635]
Gentle Alice BrownW. S. Gilbert[639]
The Story of Prince AgibW. S. Gilbert[641]
Sir Guy the CrusaderW. S. Gilbert[644]
Kitty Wants to WriteGelett Burgess[646]
Dighton is EngagedGelett Burgess[647]
Plain Language from Truthful JamesBret Harte[648]
The Society Upon the StanisalausBret Harte[650]
"Jim"Bret Harte[652]
William Brown of OregonJoaquin Miller[653]
Little BreechesJohn Hay[657]
The Enchanted ShirtJohn Hay[658]
Jim BludsoJohn Hay[661]
Wreck of the "Julie Plante"William Henry Drummond[662]
The Alarmed SkipperJames T. Fields[664]
The Elderly GentlemanGeorge Canning[665]
Saying Not MeaningWilliam Basil Wake[666]
Hans Breitmann's PartyCharles Godfrey Leland[668]
Ballad by Hans BreitmannCharles Godfrey Leland[669]
Grampy Sings a SongHolman F. Day[670]
The First BanjoIrwin Russell[672]
The Romance of the CarpetRobert J. Burdette[674]
Hunting of the Snark, TheLewis Carroll[676]
The Old Man and JimJames Whitcomb Riley[678]
A Sailor's YarnJames Jeffrey Roche[680]
The Converted CannibalsG. E. Farrow[683]
The Retired Pork-Butcher and the SpookG. E. Farrow[685]
Skipper Ireson's RideJohn Greenleaf Whittier[688]
Darius Green and His Flying-MachineJohn Townsend Trowbridge[690]
A Great FightRobert H. Newell[697]
The Donnybrook JigViscount Dillon[700]
Unfortunate Miss BaileyUnknown[702]
The Laird o' CockpenLady Nairne[703]
A WeddingSir John Suckling[704]
XI: TRIBUTE
The Ahkond of SwatEdward Lear[708]
The Ahkoond of SwatGeorge Thomas Lanigan[710]
Dirge of the Moolla of KotalGeorge Thomas Lanigan[712]
The Ballad of BouillabaisseW. M. Thackeray[714]
Ould Doctor MackAlfred Perceval Graves[717]
Father O'FlynnAlfred Perceval Graves[719]
The Bald-headed TyrantVandyne, Mary E.[720]
Barney McGeeRichard Hovey[721]
Address to the ToothacheRobert Burns[724]
A Farewell to TobaccoCharles Lamb[726]
John BarleycornRobert Burns[730]
Stanzas to Pale AleUnknown[732]
Ode to TobaccoCharles Stuart Calverley[732]
Sonnet to a ClamJohn G. Saxe[734]
To a FlyJohn Wolcot[734]
Ode to a Bobtailed CatUnknown[737]
XII: WHIMSEY
An ElegyOliver Goldsmith[740]
Parson GrayOliver Goldsmith[741]
The Irishman and the LadyWilliam Maginn[742][Pg xx]
The Cataract of LodoreRobert Southey[743]
Lay of the Deserted Influenzaed H. Cholmondeley-Pennell[746]
Bellagcholly DaysUnknown[747]
Rhyme of the RailJohn G. Saxe[748]
EchoJohn G. Saxe[750]
SongJoseph Addison[751]
A Gentle Echo on WomanDean Swift[752]
Lay of Ancient RomeThomas R. Ybarra[753]
A New SongJohn Gay[754]
The American TravellerRobert H. Newell[757]
The Zealless XylographerMary Mapes Dodge[759]
The Old Line FenceA. W. Bellaw[760]
O-U-G-HCharles Battell Loomis[761]
Enigma on the Letter HCatherine M. Fanshawe[762]
Travesty of Miss Fanshawe's EnigmaHorace Mayhew[763]
An Elegy on the Death of a Mad DogOliver Goldsmith[764]
An EpitaphMatthew Prior[765]
Old GrimesAlbert Gorton Greene[766]
The Endless SongRuth McEnery Stuart[768]
The Hundred Best BooksMostyn T. Pigott[769]
The Cosmic EggUnknown[771]
Five WinesRobert Herrick[772]
A Rhyme for MusiciansE. Lemke[772]
My MadelineWalter Parke[773]
Susan SimpsonUnknown[774]
The March to MoscowRobert Southey[775]
Half Hours with the ClassicsH. J. DeBurgh[779]
On the Oxford CarrierJohn Milton[780]
Ninety-Nine in the ShadeRossiter Johnson[781]
The TrioletWilliam Ernest Henley[782]
The RondeauAustin Dobson[782]
LifeUnknown[783]
Ode to the Human HeartLaman Blanchard[784]
A Strike Among the PoetsUnknown[785]
Whatever Is, Is RightLaman Blanchard[786]
NothingRichard Porson[786]
DirgeUnknown[787]
O D VUnknown[788]
A Man of WordsUnknown[790]
SimilesUnknown[791]
No!Thomas Hood[792]
Faithless Sally BrownThomas Hood[792]
Tim TurpinThomas Hood[795]
Faithless Nelly GrayThomas Hood[797]
Sally Simpkin's LamentThomas Hood[800]
Death's RambleThomas Hood[801]
Panegyric on the LadiesUnknown[803]
Ambiguous LinesUnknown[804]
SurnamesJames Smith[804]
A Ternary of Littles, Upon a Pipkin of Jelly Sent to a LadyRobert Herrick[806]
A Carman's Account of a Law SuitSir David Lindesay[807]
Out of Sight, Out of MindBarnaby Googe[807]
NongtongpawCharles Dibdin[808]
Logical EnglishUnknown[809]
LogicUnknown[809]
The Careful PenmanUnknown[810]
Questions with AnswersUnknown[810]
Conjugal ConjugationsA. W. Bellaw[810]
Love's Moods and SensesUnknown[812]
The Siege of BelgradeUnknown[813][Pg xxi]
The Happy ManGilles Ménage[814]
The BellsUnknown[816]
TakingsThomas Hood, Jr.[817]
A Bachelor's Mono-RhymeCharles Mackay[817]
The Art of BookkeepingLaman Blanchard[818]
An Invitation to the Zoological GardensUnknown[822]
A Nocturnal SketchThomas Hood[823]
LoveliltsMarion Hill[824]
Jocosa LyraAustin Dobson[824]
To a ThesaurusFranklin P. Adams[825]
The Future of the ClassicsUnknown[826]
Cautionary VersesTheodore Hook[828]
The War: A-ZJohn R. Edwards[829]
Lines to Miss Florence Huntingdon Unknown[830]
To My NoseAlfred A. Forrester[832]
A Polka LyricBarclay Philips[832]
A Catalectic MonodyUnknown[833]
Ode for a Social MeetingOliver Wendell Holmes[833]
The Jovial Priest's ConfessionLeigh Hunt[834]
LimericksCarolyn Wells[835]
XIII: NONSENSE
Lunar StanzasHenry Coggswell Knight[841]
The Whango TreeUnknown[842]
Three ChildrenUnknown[843]
'Tis MidnightUnknown[843]
CossimbazarHenry S. Leigh[843]
An Unexpected FactEdward Cannon[844]
The CumberbuncePaul West[844]
Mr. Finney's TurnipUnknown[847]
Nonsense VersesCharles Lamb[848]
Like to the Thundering ToneBishop Corbet[848]
AestivationOliver Wendell Holmes[849]
Uncle Simon and Uncle JimCharles Farrar Browne
["Artemus Ward">[		[849]
A Tragic StoryW. M. Thackeray[850]
Sonnet Found in a Deserted Mad HouseUnknown[851]
The Jim-Jam King of the Jou-JousAlaric Bertrand Stuart[851]
To MarieJohn Bennett[852]
My DreamUnknown[853]
The Rollicking MastodonArthur Macy[853]
The Invisible BridgeGelett Burgess[855]
The Lazy RoofGelett Burgess[855]
My FeetGelett Burgess[855]
Spirk Troll-DerisiveJames Whitcomb Riley[855]
The Man in the MoonJames Whitcomb Riley[856]
The Lugubrious Whing-WhangJames Whitcomb Riley[858]
The Yonghy-Bonghy-BoEdward Lear[859]
The JumblesEdward Lear[862]
The Pobble Who Has no ToesEdward Lear[865]
The New VestmentsEdward Lear[866]
The Two Old BachelorsEdward Lear[868]
JabberwockyLewis Carroll[869]
Ways and MeansLewis Carroll[870]
Humpty Dumpty's RecitationLewis Carroll[872]
Some HallucinationsLewis Carroll[874]
Sing for the Garish EyeW. S. Gilbert[875]
The ShipwreckE. H. Palmer[876][Pg xxii]
UffiaHarriet R. White[877]
'Tis Sweet to RoamUnknown[878]
Three Jovial HuntsmenUnknown[878]
King ArthurUnknown[879]
Hyder IddleUnknown[879]
The Ocean WandererUnknown[879]
Scientific ProofJ. W. Foley[880]
The ThingumbobUnknown[882]
Wonders of NatureUnknown[882]
Lines by an Old FogyUnknown[882]
A Country Summer PastoralUnknown[883]
Turvey TopWilliam Sawyer[884]
A Ballad of BedlamUnknown[886]
XIV: NATURAL HISTORY
The Fastidious SerpentHenry Johnstone[887]
The Legend of the First Cam-u-elArthur Guiterman[888]
Unsatisfied YearningR. K. Munkittrick[889]
Kindly AdviceUnknown[890]
Kindness to AnimalsJ. Ashby-Sterry[891]
To Be or Not To BeUnknown[891]
The HenMatthew Claudius[892]
Of Baiting the LionOwen Seaman[893]
The FlamingoLewis Gaylord Clark[894]
Why Doth a Pussy Cat?Burges Johnson[895]
The Walrus and the CarpenterLewis Carroll[896]
NirvanaUnknown[900]
The CatfishOliver Herford[900]
War ReliefOliver Herford[901]
The Owl and the Pussy-CatEdward Lear[901]
Mexican SerenadeArthur Guiterman[902]
Orphan BornRobert J. Burdette[903]
Divided DestiniesRudyard Kipling[904]
The ViperHilaire Belloc[906]
The LlamaHilaire Belloc[906]
The YakHilaire Belloc[906]
The FrogHilaire Belloc[907]
The MicrobeHilaire Belloc[907]
The Great Black CrowPhilip James Bailey[907]
The ColubriadWilliam Cowper[909]
The Retired CatWilliam Cowper[910]
A Darwinian BalladUnknown[913]
The PigRobert Southey[914]
A Fish StoryHenry A. Beers[916]
The Cameronian CatUnknown[917]
The Young GazelleWalter Parke[918]
The Ballad of the EmeuBret Harte[921]
The Turtle and FlamingoJames Thomas Fields[923]
XV: JUNIORS
Prior to Miss Belle's AppearanceJames Whitcomb Riley[925]
There Was a Little GirlUnknown[926]
The Naughty Darkey BoyUnknown[927]
Dutch LullabyEugene Field[928]
The Dinkey-BirdEugene Field[929]
The Little PeachEugene Field[931]
Counsel to Those that EatUnknown[932]
Home and MotherMary Mapes Dodge[932]
Little Orphant AnnieJames Whitcomb Riley[934][Pg xxiii]
A Visit From St. NicholasClement Clarke Moore[935]
A Nursery LegendHenry S. Leigh[937]
A Little GooseEliza Sproat Turner[938]
Leedle Yawcob StraussCharles Follen Adams[940]
A Parental Ode to My Son, Aged Three Years and Five MonthsThomas Hood[941]
Little MammaCharles Henry Webb[943]
The Comical GirlM. Pelham[946]
Bunches of GrapesWalter Ramal[947]
XVI: IMMORTAL STANZAS
The Purple CowGelett Burgess[948]
The Young Lady of NigerUnknown[948]
The Laughing WillowOliver Herford[948]
Said Opie ReedJulian Street and James Montgomery Flagg[948]
ManilaEugene F. Ware[949]
On the Aristocracy of HarvardDr. Samuel G. Bushnell[949]
On the Democracy of YaleDean Jones[949]
The HerringSir Walter Scott[949]
If the ManSamuel Johnson[949]
The Kilkenny CatsUnknown[950]
Poor Dear GrandpapaD'Arcy W. Thompson[950]
More WalksRichard Harris Barham
["Thomas Ingoldsby">[		[950]
IndifferenceUnknown[950]
Madame Sans SouciUnknown[950]
A RiddleUnknown[951]
IfUnknown[951]

THE BOOK OF HUMOROUS VERSE

I

BANTER

THE PLAYED-OUT HUMOURIST