The Seven Hundred and Sixtieth Night,
Dunyazad said to her, "Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!" She replied, "With love and good will!" It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the King despatched a posse of his Chamberlains to bring into his presence the four persons who were lovers to the Droll's wife, and he found the first to be a Pieman who had claimed the rank of our lord Job (on whom be The Peace!), and the second to be a Market-Gardener who sold savoury herbs and all manner fragrant growths, and he had made himself out to be Al-Khizr (on whom be The Peace!), and the third to be a Butcher who had passed himself off as Iskandar, Lord of the Two Horns (on whom be The Peace!); whilst the fourth, whom the Jester had brought, and who declared that he was the Archangel Israfil, and was about to blow the Last Trump, proved to be the Shaykh of the Pipers. Now when the four were before the King he gave orders to castrate them all save the Shaykh[422] this being the award of him who lewdly frequenteth the women of the royal household. Hereupon they gelded them, and each one who was made a eunuch died without stay and delay; and the Droll divorced his wife and sent her about her business.
I have also by me (said Shahrazad) another tale concerning the wiles of womankind, and it is that of
THE GATE-KEEPER OF CAIRO AND THE CUNNING SHE-THIEF.[423]
It is related that in Misr of Káhir there was a man who had reached the age of fourscore and ten years, and he was a chief-watchman of the ward in the service of the Wáli; a brave man withal, and one not wont to be startled or afeard. Now one night as he was going around about the city with the Chief of Police, and he was returning to the guard-house[424] before break o' day that he might perform the Wuzú-ablution, and at the call to dawn-prayers he might rise and repeat them, it so fortuned that when he was about to stand up to his orisons, according to the custom of him, suddenly a purse fell before him upon the ground. As soon as he had done with his devotions he arose and gazed around to see who had thrown him that bag of money, but he could find nobody; so he took it up and opened it, when an hundred dinars met his sight. Hereat he wondered; but on the following day when he had washed and was praying, behold, a second purse was cast at his feet; so he waited until he had finished his orisons and then stood up and looked around to see who had thrown it. Thereupon, as he failed to find any, he took it up and opened it and again beheld an hundred dinars, a matter which filled him with wonder. This continued till the third day at morning-tide, when he had washed as was his wont and stood up to his prayers, and lo and behold! another purse was dropped at his feet. Herewith he cut short his devotions, and turning him round saw beside him a girl whose years had reached fifteen; so he seized her and said, "Who art thou, and what is the reason of thy throwing at my feet every day a purse of an hundred gold pieces, and this is the third time; argal the sum amounteth to three hundred. What may be this case?" Said she, "O my lord, my name is Fátimah, and my wish and will is a matter which thou canst bring to an end for me by means of thy tongue!" Quoth he, "What is't thou wantest of me?" and quoth she, "'Tis my intent that on the morrow I sham drunkenness with wine and cast myself before the mansion of the Kazi of the Army.[425] Thou shalt find me there strown upon the ground and dressed in all the best of my clothes and finest ornaments. So when thou shalt come to that quarter and espy me lying there in drink do thou bid the Linkman move the links to and fro; then come forward, O Mukaddam,[426] and investigate the case and examine me, and say the Wali, 'This girl is in liquor.' The Chief of Police shall reply to thee, 'Take her and carry her to the watch-house and keep her there till day-break.'"—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day, and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, "How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!" Quoth she, "And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?" Now when it was the next night, and that was