Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the bride was not in love with the Kazi’s mode of living; so he took her and cut off her nose and divorced her, falsely declaring that she had behaved frowardly. On the next day he proposed for another wife and married her and entreated her in like fashion as the first; and when she demanded a divorce, he shredded off her nostrils and put her away; and whatever woman he espoused he starved by his stinginess and tortured with hunger, and when any demanded a divorce he would chop off her nose on false pretences and put her away without paying aught either of her marriage settlement or of the contingent dowry. At last the report of that Kazi’s avarice came to the ears of a damsel of Mosul-city, a model of beauty and loveliness who had insight into things hidden and just judgment and skilful contrivance. Thereupon, resolved to avenge her sex, she left her native place and journeyed till she made Tarábulus; and by the decree of the Decreer at that very time the judge, after a day spent in his garden, purposed to return home so he mounted his mule and met her half-way between the pleasance and the town. He chanced to glance at her and saw that she was wondrous beautiful and lovely, symmetrical and graceful and the spittle ran from his mouth wetting his mustachios; and he advanced and accosting her said, “O thou noble one, whence comest thou hither?” “From behind me!” “Connu. I knew that; but from what city?” “From Mosul.” “Art thou single and secluded or femme couverte with a husband alive.” “Single I am still!” “Can it be that thou wilt take me and thou become to me mate and I become to thee man?” “If such be our fate ’twill take place and I will give thee an answer to-morrow;” and so saying the damsel went on to Tarábulus. Now the Kazi after hearing her speech felt his love for her increase; so next morning he sent to ask after her, and when they told him that she had alighted at a Khan, he despatched to her the negress his concubine with a party of friends to ask her in marriage, notifying that he was Kazi of the city. Thereupon she demanded a dower of fifty dinars and naming a deputy caused the knot be knotted and she came to him about evening time and he went in to her. But when it was the supperhour he called as was his wont to his black handmaiden saying “Fetch the fringed table-cloth,” and she fared forth and fetched it bringing also three biscuits and three onions, and as soon as the meal was served up all three sat down to it, the Kazi, the slave-girl, and the new bride. Each took a biscuit and an onion and ate them up and the bride exclaimed “Allah requite thee with wealth. By Allah, this be a wholesome supper.” When the judge heard this he was delighted with her and cried out, “Extolled be the Almighty for that at last He hath vouchsafed to me a wife who thanketh the Lord for muchel or for little!” But he knew not what the Almighty had decreed to him through the wile and guile, the malice and mischief of women. Next morning the Kazi repaired to the Mahkamah and the bride arose and solaced herself with looking at the apartments, of which some lay open whilst others were closed. Presently she came to one which was made fast by a door with a wooden bolt and a padlock of iron: she considered it and found it strong but at the threshold was a fissure about the breadth of a finger; so she peeped through and espied gold and silver coins heaped up in trays of brass which stood upon Kursi-stools and the nearest about ten cubits from the door. She then arose and fetched a long wand, the mid-rib of a date-palm,[[210]] and arming the end with a lump of leaven she pushed it through the chink under the door and turned it round and round upon the money-trays as if sewing or writing. At last two dinars stuck to the dough and she drew them through the fissure and returned to her own chamber; then, calling the negress, she gave her the ducats saying, “Go thou to the Bazar and buy us some mutton and rice and clarified butter; and do thou also bring us some fresh bread and spices and return with them without delay.” The negress took the gold and went to the market, where she bought all that her lady bade her buy and speedily came back, when the Kazi’s wife arose and cooked a notable meal, after which she and the black chattel ate whatso they wanted. Presently the slave brought basin and ewer to her lady and washed her hands and then fell to kissing her feet, saying, “Allah feed thee, O my lady, even as thou hast fed me, for ever since I belonged to this Kazi I have lacked the necessaries of life.” Replied the other, “Rejoice, O handmaiden, for henceforth thou shalt have every day naught but the bestest food of manifold kinds;” and the negress prayed Allah to preserve her and thanked her. At noon the Kazi entered and cried, “O handmaid fetch the fringed cloth,” and when she brought it he sat down and his wife arose and served up somewhat of the food she had cooked and he ate and rejoiced and was filled and at last he asked, “Whence this provision?” She answered, “I have in this city many kinsfolk who hearing of my coming sent me these meats and quoth I to myself, When my lord the Kazi shall return home he shall make his dinner thereof.” On the next day she did as before and drawing out three ducats called the slave-girl and gave her two of them bidding her go to the Bazar and buy a lamb ready skinned and a quantity of rice and clarified butter and greens and spices and whatso was required for dressing the dishes. So the handmaid went forth rejoicing, and bought all her lady had ordered and forthwith returned when her mistress fell to cooking meats of various kinds and lastly sent to invite all her neighbours, women and maidens. When they came she had got ready the trays garnished with dainty food[[211]] and served up to them all that was suitable and they ate and enjoyed themselves and made merry. Now this was about mid-forenoon, but as midday drew near they went home carrying with them dishes full of dainties which they cleared and washed and sent back till everything was returned to its place.——And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Three Hundred and Eighty-eighth Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the guests of the Kazi’s wife fared from her before turn of sun; and, when it was noon, behold, the Kazi entered his Harem and said, “O handmaiden, fetch the fringed table-cloth,” when the wife arose and set before him viands of various sorts. He asked whence they came and she answered saying, “This is from my maternal aunt who sent it as a present to me.” The judge ate and was delighted and abode in the Harem till set of sun. But his wife ceased not daily to draw money from his hoard and to expend it upon entertaining her friends and gossips, and this endured for a whole year. Now beside her mansion dwelt a poor woman in a mean dwelling and every day the wife would feed her and her husband and babes; moreover she would give them all that sufficed them. The woman was far gone with child and the other charged her saying, “As soon as ’tis thy time to be delivered, do thou come to me for I have a mind to play a prank upon this Kazi who feareth not Allah and who, whenever he taketh to himself a wife, first depriveth her of food till she is well nigh famished, then shreddeth off her nose under false pretences and putteth her away taking all her belongings and giving naught of dower either the precedent or the contingent.” And the poor woman replied, “To hear is to obey.” Then the wife persisted in her lavish expenditure till her neighbour came to her already overtaken by birth-pains, and these lasted but a little while when she was brought to bed of a boy. Hereupon the Kazi’s wife arose and prepared a savoury dish called a Baysárah,[[212]] the base of which is composed of beans and gravied mallows[[213]] seasoned with onions and garlic. It was noon when her husband came in and she served up the dish; and he being anhungered ate of it and ate greedily and at supper time he did likewise. But he was not accustomed to a Baysárah, so as soon as night came on his paunch began to swell; the wind bellowed in his bowels; his stress was such that he could not be more distressed and he roared out in his agony. Herewith his wife ran in and cried to him, “No harm shall befal thee, O my lord!” and so saying she passed her hand over his stomach and presently exclaimed “Extolled be He, O my lord; verily thou art pregnant and a babe is in thy belly.”——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Three Hundred and Eighty-ninth Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Kazi’s wife came up to him and passing her palm over his paunch presently cried, “Extolled be He, O my lord: verily thou art pregnant and a babe is in thy belly.” Quoth the Kazi, “How shall a man bear a child?” and quoth she, “Allah createth whatso He willeth.” And as they two sat at talk the flatulence and belly-ache increased and violent colic[[214]] set in and the torments waxed still more torturing. Then the wife rose up and disappeared but presently she returned with her pauper neighbour’s newly-born babe in her sleeve, its mother accompanying it: she also brought a large basin of copper and she found her husband rolling from right to left and crying aloud in his agony. At last the qualms[[215]] in his stomach were ready to burst forth and the rich food to issue from his body, and when this delivery was near hand the wife privily set the basin under him like a close stool and fell to calling upon the Holy Names and to shampooing and rubbing down his skin while she ejaculated, “The name of Allah be upon thee!”[[216]] But all this was of her malice. At last the prima via opened and the Kazi let fly, whereat his wife came quickly behind and setting the babe upon its back gently pinched it so that it began to wail, and said, “O man Alhamdolillah,—laud to the Lord, who hath so utterly relieved thee of thy burthen,” and she fell to muttering Names over the new-born. Then quoth he, “Have a care of the little one and keep it from cold draughts;” for the trick had taken completely with the Kazi and he said in his mind, “Allah createth whatso He willeth: even men if so predestined can bring forth.” And presently he added, “O woman, look out for a wet nurse to suckle him;” and she replied, “O my lord, the nurse is with me in the women’s apartments.” Then having sent away the babe and its mother she came up to the Kazi and washed him and removed the basin from under him and made him lie at full length. Presently after taking thought he said, “O woman, be careful to keep this matter private for fear of the folk who otherwise might say:—Our Kazi hath borne a babe.” She replied, “O my lord, as the affair is known to other than our two selves how can we manage to conceal it?” and after she resumed, “O my husband, this business can on no wise be hidden from the people for more than a week or at most till next month.” Herewith he cried out, “O my calamity; if it reach the ears of folk and they say:—Our Kazi hath borne a babe, then what shall we do?” He pondered the matter until morning when he rose before daylight and, taking some provaunt secretly, made ready to depart the city, saying, “O Allah, suffer none to see me!” Then, after giving his wife charge of the house and bidding her take care of his effects and farewelling her, he went forth secretly from her and journeyed that day and a second and a third until the seventh, when he entered Damascus of Syria where none knew him. But he had no spending money for he could not persuade himself to take even a single dinar from his hoard and he had provided himself with naught save the meagrest provision. So his condition was straitened and he was compelled to sell somewhat of his clothes and lay out the price upon his urgent needs; and when the coin was finished he was forced to part with other portions of his dress till little or nothing of it remained to him. Then, in his sorest strait, he went to the Shaykh of the Masons and said to him, “O master, my wish is to serve in this industry;”[[217]] and said he, “Welcome to thee.” So the Kazi worked through every day for a wage of five Faddahs. Such was his case; but as regards his wife,——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on this coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was the
The Three Hundred and Ninetieth Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that when the Kazi went forth from his wife she threw a sherd[[218]] behind him and muttered “Allah never bring thee back from thy journey.” Then she arose and threw open the rooms and noted all that was in them of moneys and moveables and vaiselle and rarities, and she fell to feeding the hungry and clothing the naked and doling alms to Fakírs saying, “This be the reward of him who mortifieth the daughters of folk and devoureth their substance and shreddeth off their nostrils.” She also sent to the women he had married and divorced, and gave them of his good the equivalent of their dowers and a solatium for losing their noses. And every day she assembled the goodwives of the quarter and cooked for them manifold kinds of food because her spouse the Kazi was possessed of property approaching two Khaznahs[[219]] of money, he being ever loath to expend what his hand could hend and unprepared to part with aught on any wise, for the excess of his niggardness and his greed of gain. Nor did she cease from so doing for a length of time until suddenly she overheard folk saying, “Our Kazi hath borne a babe.” And such bruit spread abroad and was reported in sundry cities, nor ceased the rumour ere it reached the ears of the Caliph Harun al-Rashid in Baghdad city. Now hearing it he marvelled and cried, “Extolled be Allah! this hap, by the Lord, never can have happened save at the hand of some woman, a wise and a clever at contrivance; nor would she have wrought after such fashion save to make public somewhat erst proceeding from the Kazi, either his covetous intent or his high-handedness in commandment. But needs must this goodwife be summoned before me and recount the cunning practice she hath practised;—Allah grant her success in the prank she hath played upon the Judge.” Such was her case; but as concerns the Kazi, he abode working at builders’ craft till his bodily force was enfeebled and his frame became frail; so presently quoth he to himself, “Do thou return to thy native land, for a long time hath now passed and this affair is clean forgotten.” Thereupon he returned to Tarábulus, but as he drew near thereto he was met outside the city by a bevy of small boys who were playing at forfeits, and lo and behold! cried one to his comrades, “O lads, do ye remember such and such a year when our Kazi was brought to bed?”[[220]] But the Judge hearing these words returned forthright to Damascus by the way he came, saying to himself, “Hie thee not save to Baghdad city for ’tis further away than Damascus!” and set out at once for the House of Peace. However he entered it privily, because he was still in the employ of the Prince of True Believers, Harun al-Rashid; and, changing semblance and superficials, he donned the dress of a Persian Darwaysh and fell to walking about the streets of the capital. Here met he sundry men of high degree who showed him favour, but he could not venture himself before the Caliph albe sundry of the subjects said to him, “O Darwaysh, why dost thou not appear in the presence of the Commander of the Faithful? Assuredly he would bestow upon thee many a boon, for he is a true Sultan; and, specially, an thou panegyrise him in poetry, he will largely add to his largesse.” Now by the decree of Destiny the Viceregent of Allah upon His Earth had commanded the Kazi’s wife be brought from Tarabulus: so they led her into the presence and when she had kissed ground before him and salam’d to him and prayed for the perpetuity of his glory and his existence, he asked her anent her husband and how he had borne a child and what was the prank she had played him and in what manner she had gotten the better of him. She hung her head groundwards awhile for shame nor could she return aught of reply for a time, when the Commander of the Faithful said to her, “Thou hast my promise of safety and again safety, the safety of one who betrayeth not his word.” So she raised her head and cried, “By Allah, O King of the Age, the story of this Kazi is a strange——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say.” Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Three Hundred and Ninety-first Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that quoth the Kazi’s wife, “By Allah, O King of the Age, the story of this Kazi is a strange and of the wonders of the world and ’tis as follows. My spouse is so niggardly of nature and greedy of gain that whatso wife he weddeth he starveth her with hunger and, whenas she loseth patience, he shreddeth her nostrils and putteth her away, taking all her good and what not. Now this case continued for a while of time. Also he had a black slave-wench and a fine eating-cloth and when dinner-time came he would cry, O handmaid, fetch the fringed table-cloth! whereupon she would bring it and garnish it with three biscuits and three onions, one to each mouth. Presently accounts of this conduct came to me at Mosul, whereupon I removed me to Tarábulus, and there played him many a prank amongst which was the dish of Baysár by me seasoned with an over quantity of onions and garlic and such spices as gather wind in the maw and distend it like a tom-tom and breed borborygms.[[221]] This I gave him to eat and then befel that which befel. So I said to him, Thou art in the family way and tricked him, privily bringing into the house a new-born babe. When his belly began to drain off I set under him a large metal basin and after pinching the little one I placed it in the utensil and recited Names over it. Presently quoth he, Guard my little stranger from the draught and bring hither a wet-nurse; and I did accordingly. But he waxed ashamed of the birth and in the morning he fared forth the city nor knew we what Allah had done with him. But as he went I bespake him with the words which the poet sang when the Ass of Umm Amr went off:—
Ass and Umm Amr[[222]] bewent their way; ✿ Nor Ass nor Umm Amr returned for aye;