Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night.” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the woman gave to her lover the geese which she had fried and he took the twain and fared away with them. Now when it was noon suddenly her husband came home accompanied by a friend and knocked at the door; so she arose and opened to him and admitted them. Then she asked, “And hast thou brought only one man?[[485]] hie thee forth and fetch at least two or better still three.” “’Tis well,” said he and went off to do her bidding. Then the woman accosted the guest who came first and cried, “Oh the pity of it! By Allah thou art lost and the Lá Haul of Allah[[486]] is upon thee and doubtless thou hast no children.” Now when the man heard these words he exclaimed, “Why, O Woman?” for indeed fear and affright had sunk deep into his heart. She rejoined, “Verily my husband hath not brought thee hither save with the intention of cutting off thy precious stones the honours of thy yard[[487]] and of gelding thee to a Castrato; and heigho and alas for thee whether thou die or whether thou live, and Oh the pity of it for thee!” Now when the man heard this speech, he arose in haste and hurry and rushed out by the door when behold, the husband came bringing with him two of his familiars. So the wife met him at the entrance and said to him, “O Man, O miserablest of men, O thou disappointed, O thou dissatisfied,[[488]] thou hast brought to me a fellow which was a thief, a ne’er-do-well like unto thyself.” “How so?” asked he, and she answered, “The man stole the two geese and stole away.” Thereupon the husband went out and catching sight of the guest running off shouted to him, “Come back! Come back! even although thou bring only one with thee and take the other.” Cried the man in reply, “An thou catch me do thou take thee the two.” But the house-master meant the two geese whilst the man who was running away thought only of himself, saying in his mind, “This one speaketh of my ballocks, meaning that he will take only one of my stones[[489]] and leave me the other.” So he ceased not running and the other followed after him, but being unable to catch him he returned to his guests and served them with somewhat of bread and so forth, whilst the woman kept blaming him and knagging about the matter of the geese which she said had been carried off, but which had been given by her to her lover. The husband enjoined her to silence; however she would not hold her peace[[490]] and on this wise he was balked of the meal to feed his wife’s friend. And now (quoth Shahrazad) I will relate to you somewhat of the wiles of an honest woman, and thereupon she fell to recounting the adventure of
THE KAZI SCHOOLED BY HIS WIFE.
It is related of a man which was a Kazi that he had a wife of the virtuous and the righteous and of the charitable and the pitiful to the orphan and the pauper; and the same was beautiful exceedingly. Her husband held and was certified anent womankind that all and every were like unto his spouse; so that when any male masculant came into his court[[491]] complaining about his rib he would deliver his decision that the man was a wrongdoer and that the woman was wronged. On such wise he did because he saw that his wife was the pink of perfection and he opined that the whole of her sex resembled her, and he knew naught of the wickedness and debauchery of the genus and their sorcery and their contrariety and the cunning contrivance wherewith they work upon men’s wits. He abode all careless of such matters, in consequence of the virtues of his spouse, until one chance day of the days when suddenly a man came to him with a grievance about his better half and showed how he had been evil entreated by her and how her misconduct was manifest and public. But when the man laid his case before the Kazi and enlarged upon his charge, the Judge determined that he was in tort and that his wife was in the right; so the complainant went forth the court as one deaf and blind who could neither hear nor see. Moreover he was perplexed as to his affair, unknowing what he should do in the matter of his helpmate and wherefore the Kazi had determined contrary to justice that he had ill-used his spouse. Now as to the Kazi’s wife none could forgather with her;[[492]] so the plaintiff was distraught and confounded when he was met unexpectedly on the way by one who asked him, “What may be thy case, O certain person, and how hath it befallen thee with the Kazi in the matter of thy rib?” “He hath given sentence,” quoth the man, “that I am the wrong-doer and that she is the wronged, and I know not how I shall act.” Whereupon quoth the other, “Return and take thy station hard by the entrance to the Judge’s Harem and place thyself under the protection of its inmates.” The man did as his friend advised him and knocked, when a handmaiden came out and he said to her, “O Damsel, ’tis my desire that thou send me hither thy lady, so I may bespeak her with a single word.” She went in and informed her mistress[[493]] who rose and humoured him, and standing veiled behind the door asked, “What is to do with thee, O man?” “O my lady,” said he, “I place myself under thy ward and thine honour, so thou enable me to get justice of my wife and overcome her and prevail over her, for in very deed she hath wronged me and disgraced me. I came to complain of her ill-conduct before His Honour our lord the Kazi, yet he hath determined that I am the wrong-doer and have injured her while she is the wronged. I know not what I shall do with him, and sundry of the folk have informed me that thou art of the beneficent; so I require that thou charge for me the Judge to deliver according to Holy Law his decree between me and my mate.” Quoth she, “Go thou and take thy rest, nor do thou return to him until he shall have sent after thee, and fear not aught from him at all.” “Allah increase thy weal, O my lady,” quoth he, and he left her and went about his business pondering his case and saying to himself in mind, “Oh would Heaven I wot whether the Kazi’s wife will protect me and deliver me from this fornicatress, this adulteress, who hath outraged me and carried away my good and driven me forth from her.” Now when it was night-tide and the Judge was at leisure from his commandments, he went into his Harem, and it was his wife’s custom whenever he returned home to meet him at the middle doorway. But as on that occasion she failed so to do, he walked into the apartment wherein she woned and found her at prayers; then he recalled to mind the contention of the man who had come to him with a grievance against his spouse——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Seven Hundred and Eighty-third Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that when the Kazi went in to his wife whom he found praying, he recalled to mind the matter of the man who had come to him with a contention against his spouse and he said in his thought, “Verily nor hurting nor harming ever cometh from womankind and indeed this liar complaineth of his wife falsely;” for it was still in his mind that all of the contrary sex are as virtuous as his lady. But when she had done with her devotions, she rose up to him and served him and set before him, she and her handmaidens, the tray of food and she sat down at meat with him as was her wont. Now amongst the dishes was a charger containing two chickens, so said she to her husband, “By Allah, O my lord, do thou buy for us to-morrow a couple of geese that I may let stuff them, for my heart is set upon eating of their meat.” Said he, “O my lady, to-morrow (Inshallah! an it be the will of the Almighty) I will send to the Bazar and let buy for thee two geese of the biggest and the fattest and the Eunuchs shall slaughter them and thou shalt use them as thou will.” Accordingly, at dawn-tide the Judge sent to buy two plump birds and bade the Eunuchs cut their throats and the handmaidens gutted them and stuffed them and cooked them with rice over and above the usual food. Thereupon the Kazi’s wife arose and proceeded to work her contrivance. She had bought two sparrows which the hunter had trapped; and she bade kill and dress them and place them upon the rice instead of the geese and awaited the even-tide when her husband would return to supper. Then they spread the tables whereupon was placed a covered platter under which he supposed stood the geese; so he took it off and behold, he found the two sparrows. Hereat he was perplext and said to his wife, “Allaho Akbar—God is most Great—where be the geese?” and said she to him, “Whatso thou broughtest here it be[[494]] before thee upon the dish.” “These be two sparrows,” quoth he, and quoth she, “I wot not.” So the Judge arose displeased[[495]] with his wife and going to her home fetched her father and as she saw him coming, she stood up and whipping off the two small birds placed the big ones in their stead; and he uncovered the plate and found the geese. So he said to his son-in-law, “Thou declarest that these be sparrows but indeed they are geese;” for he also was deceived and went forth in displeasure with the Judge, after which the Kazi followed in his footstep and soothed him and invited him to meat but he would not return with him. Hereupon the husband padlocked the door but, before he had entered, the wife had substituted the birdies for the big birds and when her mate sat down to meat and would fain have eaten he uncovered the platter and beheld the two sparrows. Seeing this he was like to go out of his mind and he cried aloud, “Walláhi! indeed this be a portentous calamity,” and he went forth, trotting in his haste, until he met his father-in-law upon the way. Then he cried upon him and said, “Come and look at the two geese which were in the platter.” “Wherefore?” asked the other and answered he, “Because I found them changed to two sparrows.” Hereupon the father returned with him to the house and walked up to the table whence the lady, during her husband’s absence, had removed the birdies and replaced the birds in lieu of them. So the father took off the cover and finding before him the pair of geese said to his son-in-law, “Be these two geese? consider them well whether they be sparrows or not.” “Two geese,” said the other and said the sire, “Then why dost thou come to me a second and a several time and bring me hither and complain of my daughter?” Hereupon he left him and went forth an-angered and the Judge came up with him at the doorway and soothed him and conjured him to return. Meanwhile the lady arose and whipping off the geese set the two birdies in lieu thereof and covered them up; and as soon as the Kazi returned and sat down to meat he removed the cover from the platter and found the two sparrows. Hereat he shrieked aloud and arose and went forth the door and cried, “Ho Moslems, come ye to my help!”[[496]] Now when the people of the quarter heard the outcry, they gathered together about the house, when the lady seized the occasion to carry off the two birdies and to set in lieu of them the two geese. Asked they, “What is to do with thee, O our lord the Kazi, and what hath befallen thee?” and he answered, “I bought two geese for our supper and now I find them turned into two sparrows;” and so saying he led the Notables of the quarter into his house and showed them the dish. They uncovered it and found therein two geese, so they exclaimed, “These be two geese which thou callest sparrows;” and so saying they left him and went their ways. He followed them making excuses and was absent for a while, when his wife took the birds and set the birdies in place of them and when the Kazi returned and proceeded to sit down at meat he uncovered the platter and behold, thereon stood the two sparrows. So he smote hand upon hand crying, “These be two sparrows without doubt or hesitation;” whereat his wife arose and called out with a loud voice, “O ye Moslems, help ye a Moslemah.”[[497]] So the folk ran to her aidance and asked her saying, “What is to do, O our lady?” and she answered, “Verily my calamity is grievous and there is no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great. My husband the Kazi hath gone Jinn-mad and do you of your grace and benevolence lay hold of him and carry him to the Máristán.”——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the King suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Seven Hundred and Eighty-fifth Night,
Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied:——With love and good will! It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Judge’s wife cried upon the folk of the quarter, “Do ye of your grace and benevolence to us seize the Kazi and carry him to the Maristan that they may confine him therein until he return to his reason and regain his right mind.” Hereupon they laid hands upon him and bore him to the Bedlam and imprisoned him therein amongst the maniacs, and it was certified to all the folk that their Kazi had been suddenly struck by insanity and that they had confined him in the madhouse. Now all this was of the cunning contrivance of his wife, that she might make manifest to him concerning womankind how none of mankind can prevail over them. But after the lapse of three days which the Judge passed in the Bedlam, his wife went in to him bringing a somewhat of food and set meat before him and asked him saying, “What was it thou foundest on the platter?” Answered he, “Two sparrows,” and continued she, “Recover thy senses and thy right mind and see here am I who have made thee out mad for thy confusion between two geese and two sparrows. Now whenever any man cometh to thee complaining of his wife (and thou unknowing aught of the couple and of their circumstances), thou determinest that the male is the evil-doer and withal thou wottest not that women are often the worst of wrongers and that men are sorely wronged by them. And in the matter now in hand, the whole of the folk declare that the Kazi is a wrong-doer to his wife, and no one knoweth that thou art really the wronged and I the wronger.” Indeed sooth did he say who said, “Alas for those who be gaoled wrongfully!” So do thou never decide aught thou knowest not. However, thou hast approved to thyself that I am true and loyal to thee and thou makest all the folk like one to other, but this is a sore injury to some. In the present case do thou send for the man who is wronged and let bring him to thy presence and bid his wife be also present and do him justice of her.” After this she removed her husband from the Maristan and went her ways, and the Kazi did with the man as his lady had charged him do and whenever a plaintiff came before him with a grievance against his wife he would decide that the man was the wronged and the woman was the wronger, and he ceased not doing after this fashion for a while of time. And now (quoth Shahrazad) I will relate to you another history of womankind and this is the tale of
THE MERCHANT’S DAUGHTER AND THE PRINCE OF AL-IRAK[[498]]
Whilome there was, men say, a Khwajah, a merchant man who was lord of money and means and estates and endowments and appanages, withal he had no seed, or son or daughter, and therefore he sued Almighty Allah that he might be blessed with even a girl-child to inherit his good and keep it together. Suddenly he heard a Voice bespeak him in dreamery saying, “Ho Such-an-one, Predestination overcometh Prudence and resignation to the trials sent by Allah is foremost and fairest.” Hearing this he arose without stay or delay and casually[[499]] slept with his wife who, by decree of the Decreer and by allowance of Allah Almighty, conceived that very night. When she became pregnant and the signs of gestation showed in her, the merchant rejoiced and distributed and doled and did alms-deeds; and, as soon as her tale of days was fulfilled, there befel her what befalleth womankind of labour-pangs, and parturition came with its madding pains and the dolours of delivery, after which she brought forth a girl-babe moulded in mould of beauty and loveliness and showing promise of brilliance and stature and symmetric grace. Now on the night after the birth and when it was the middle thereof, the Merchant was sitting at converse beside his wife and suddenly he again heard the Voice announcing to him that his daughter was fated to become a mother in illicit guise by the son of a King who reigned in the region Al-Irak. He turned him towards the sound but could see no man at such time, and presently he reflected that between his city and the capital of the King’s son in Al-Irak was a distance of six months and a moiety. Now the night wherein the Merchant’s wife became a mother was the same when the King’s wife of Al-Irak bare a boy-heir, and the Merchant, albe he wist naught thereof, was seized with trembling and terror at the words of the Voice and said in himself, “How shall my daughter forgather with the King’s son in question when between us and him is a travel of six months and a half? What can be such case? But haply this Voice is of a Satan!” As soon as it was morning-tide the father summoned astrologers and men who compute horoscopes and scribes who cast lots,[[500]] and when they presented themselves he informed them that a daughter had been added to his household and his aim was to see what the prognostic[[501]] might be. Hereupon all and every wrought at his art and mystery, and it was shown that the Merchant’s daughter would become a mother by the son of a King and this would be in the way of unright: but so far from informing him of this or suffering him to learn concerning of her circumstance they said, “The future none wotteth it save Allah Almighty and our craft at times proveth soothfast and at times falsifieth us.” However the Khwajah’s heart was on no wise satisfied and he ceased not to suffer patiently nor did rest repose him nor were meat and sleep to him sweet for the space of two years, during which his daughter was suckled and in due time was weaned. The father never ceased pondering how he should act towards his child and at sundry times he would say, “Let us slay her and rest from her,” and at other times he would exclaim, “Let us remove her to a stead where none shall approach her or of man-kind or of Jinn-kind.” Withal did none point out a path to pursue nor did any guide him to any course of the courses he might adopt. Now one day of the days he fared forth his house unknowing whither he should wend and he stinted not wending until he found himself without the town,——And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was
The Seven Hundred and Eighty-seventh Night,