A man who had been playing the part of the Lamb in the Great Wall Street Theatre, was complaining that he had invested a large sum of money in that institution and had lost every cent of it. A sympathizing friend asked him whether he had been a Bull or a Bear, and the Lamb replied, “Neither. I was a Jackass!”
A CLERICAL CORKSCREW
The minister was a very genial man and a very witty man. He had great difficulty in getting his salary promptly. Of late it was much in arrears, and he did not know what to do. One day he entered the hardware store kept by his leading deacon, and asked to look at corkscrews. He looked over the assortment very carefully, saying that he wanted quite a large one, one that was very strong, too. And when the deacon asked him what he wanted with a corkscrew, the minister replied, “I want it to draw my salary with.” He got it.
A negro exhorter shouted to his audience, “Come up an’ jine de army ob de Lord!”
“I’se done jined,” replied one woman.
“Whar’d yo’ jine?” asked the exhorter.
“In de Baptis’ Church.”
“Why, chile,” said the exhorter, “yo’ ain’t in de army ob de Lord; yo’s in de navy.”