When Dr. Theodore L. Cuyler once put the question, “What is the chief end of man?” to a gathering of Sunday-school scholars, he received for an answer, “To glorify God and annoy Him forever.” Another minister relates that he once asked this famous question of a very much neglected boy, “What is the chief end of man?” and the boy promptly replied, “Why, I guess the end that has the hat on!”
AFTERNOON TEAS
Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes was once invited by a lady friend to a social afternoon tea. The hostess had invited and had present the cream of her acquaintance and expected some expression of admiration from the great man. As he was taking his leave, the lady said to him, “Well, Doctor, what is your opinion of an afternoon tea?” And the witty but cruel man replied, “My dear friend, it is all giggle—gabble—gobble—and git!”
UNANIMOUS ACTION
Davies Herkimer, the noted political economist, said of modern politics in an address on reform that he recently delivered:
“Modern politics are entirely too tricky. The average candidate when he enters the political struggle lets plain dealing go by the board. What, then, is the result? The result is something altogether worthless, something that reminds me of a Western clergyman.
“This clergyman was very fond of cider. His congregation, meeting secretly last autumn, decided that it would surprise him with a hogshead of the beverage he loved and arranged to hold a surprise party at the manse, each guest to bring a demijohn of cider and to empty it into a huge hogshead in the garden. The party duly came off. The guests brought their demijohns, emptied them into the hogshead and feasted afterward in the manse on apples, nuts and gingerbread.
“At the height of the feasting the clergyman host was told of the full hogshead that stood without the door, and, overjoyed, the good man said to his servant:
“‘Jane, take a pitcher, fill it at the hogshead, and bring it in that we may sample it.’
“The maid withdrew into the darkness and soon returned with a pitcher brimming with—clear water!