The gifts of Wagner to the Duke, and three Devils retained for Soldiers to the same Prince
In the next morning Wagner presented himself to the Duke in presence of all the whole Princes of the Christians, whom very graciously he entertained as he might for his good service, and there in presence of them all he desired the Duke to take at his servant’s hands a small gift, which he condescended unto, and then Wagner caused a Chest to be brought in of fine Iron, wrought and enamelled with gold and colour most curiously, then he opened it and took out a whole armour of fine bright steel so light as a common Doublet, but so subtly and excellently framed, that it passed all comparison of hardness, there was a Musket shot at every piece whereon remained no great notice of a blow, but as of a little touch, plain without any broider work or otherwise carved, but so exceeding bright as would well have dazzled the long beholder’s eyes, a shield of the same fashion, made like a tortoise shell, a sword of the like fine temper, with all the furniture of a soldier, then took he out a Plume which he had no sooner put into the crest, but he that stood behind could not see no part of his back, nor he that stood before of his breast, so that thus it made him invisible, there he told him it was fetched out of the great Turk’s armoury, which they say was Mahomet’s, but I say more truly Alias Chan’s, which for himself caused it to be made, having called together the most excellent Philosophers and workmen that were to be found in all his wide Empire. The great rewards the Duke would have given him for it he refused, he was only contented with thanks and favour. And then might they see from the door of the chamber three most gallant men to enter, which were his three Familiars, whom Wagner taking by the hands presented unto the whole assembly of Princes, but more directly to the Duke, assuring them that they were the most fortunate, most valiant, strong, hardy, and puissant men that in the World were to be found, and indeed they seemed to be as goodly swart men as any eye beheld, he told their several names: Mephostophiles he termed Mamri, Akercocke he termed Simionte, Faustus he called Don Infeligo, shewing that they were born in those fortunate Islands, wherein the Poets feigned the Elysian fields to be, joining by West upon the end of Barbary, being from Vienna to those fortunate Islands 35 degrees of longitude and eight minutes, and 48 degrees and 22 minutes from the Equator or Equinoctial, in latitude not then found out. So were they most graciously entertained of all the Nobles, and entertained in the Duke’s most Honourable pay. Wagner said that they three left their country and sought adventures, and by chance coming this way, I knowing of it by secret intelligence, met them and certainly assured of their high valours, thought good to shew them to you, for he that first had spoke to them had been first served, nor cared they whether to serve us or the Infidel.
CHAPTER XVI
I spake before of a challenge made by the Emperor unto the Turk, which when the Herald had reported unto the Sultan (who certainly was a very honorable Soldier) but there he vowed to perform it, and to set the Emperor’s head upon the highest pavilion in view of all the City. And thereupon the next day after this skirmish, he sent the same Herald with purpose and commandment to declare in excellent gallant terms the acceptance of the combat, knowing that it depended upon his honour to shew his small fear, in not refusing so equal a Foe, whose proffer proceeded from a most Honourable resolution: when it was reported unto the Emperor that the same Herald returned, he caused the Hall to be adorned with most brave furniture, his high Chair of estate placed, and all about seats for the other Princes. The Emperor having seated himself, full of brave thought and gallant hardihood, expecting the answer of the enemy in such sort as it was in very deed. In all brave manner the Herald in proud phrase uttered the purport of his message, requesting that a peace being concluded on both parties for the space of three days, and free egress and regress for the Nobles on both parties, the one to view the Camp, the other the Court, and on the third day he would, armed in his country manner, meet him in the lists, to shew that he never refused the combat of any Christian Emperor, albeit he knew his calling far superior to that of his. So then the message was accepted, the Herald had his 10,000 Ducats carried to the Turk’s camp on horse, and they in the City began to keep feasts, and entertained the Turkish Nobles in exceeding bravery, and they theirs in the like without damage or thought of treason.
CHAPTER XVII
During the time of this truce, these four companions, Infeligo, Wagner, Mamri, Simionte, cast how to abuse the great Turk most notably, and Akercocke otherwise called Simionte he would begin first, and lead them the dance. Then he leaves them and gets me up unseen to the Turk’s Camp, and in his Camp to his own Pavilion, and so into the place where the great Infidel himself sat, he being then gone into the Lavatory, which is a place wherein he three times a day doth bathe himself, which by so doing he doth verily believe that all his sins are remitted and washed away, be they never so horrible, Devilish, or wicked, then Akercocke or Simionte, which ye will, goes invisibly into the Lavatory where the great Villain was bathing himself amongst three of his most fair Concubines stark naked, swimming as much in their dalliance as in the water, mingling his washing with kisses and his cleansing with voluptuousness, Akercocke in the shape of a bright Angel appears unto him, and with a proud magnifico presented himself unto the slave, who straightways very reverently fell down upon his knees, and with his hands high lifted up, worshipped towards him in great humility, whilst Akercocke with good devotion fell aboard the Concubines, and there acted them before his face one after another: when he had so done, he takes the great slave by the tip of his picke-devant,[71] and shaking him fiercely (who all this while with great dread and fear lay half astonished and all naked on the ground), told him that he had prepared a more braver place for his so good a servant than so base a bath, and no fairer Concubines. (Now the Turk had seen how like a lusty rank fellow this Simionte had behaved himself, at which he wondered not greatly, because Faustus whom he thought to have been Mahomet, as well as he did think Akercocke, had also shewed the virtue of so great a God as Mahound, twenty times more beauty than Jupiter.) Then the Turkish Emperor with half-dying hollow voice, as if his breath had been almost gone or else but now coming, said that he was all at his commandment, and so followed Simionte stark naked as he was born, who led him by the hand round about, and through every Lane and place of his Camp, to the great wonderment and laughter of his people, who verily thought Mahound had commanded him to do penance before he fought with the Christian Emperor. But for all this the people fell into such laughter that some had well-nigh given up the Ghost at the same instant, divers Christian Nobles saw him all this while, who effusedly laughed at so apparent foolery. The Turk for all this not moved, for indeed he heard all and saw nothing, went about wonderfully mannerly: like as you shall see a Dutch Frow, with a handkerchief in her hand, mince it after ye hopping German. Could a man devise a more notorious kind of abuse, than to make that man which will not be seen but in great secrecy, and abundantly and richly clad, to be not only seen openly but also stark naked, and become their laughing-stocks whose terror he is always, but Akercocke had not yet so left him, but down he runs to Danuby, (where there was ready Mamri or Mephostophiles to receive him), and there having turned himself and the vilest part of himself to the Turk’s mouth, making him kiss and kiss it again, he took him and hurled him violently into the Water, and then Akercocke vanished away.
Footnotes
[71] Peaked beard.